The 'Reno' Diet
by reno-xxxXXXxxx
Summary: Anyone ever wondered why Reno ate so much junk food? Or whether he could survive without it? Maybe for once in his life, he'll have to swallow his pride and admit that he's wrong.
1. Chocolate

**A/N:** Okay, this is a little out of the blue I know. I'm just writing this to try and overcome slight writers block, and this is my terrible stab at humour. The writers block is mainly for my story 'Tear Me Apart.' If you're reading that, and want me to update, can I get some ideas please? I've completely run dry 

Soooo, this was slightly inspired by an episode of a TV programme called Drake and Josh. Love that show

I'm not sure how many chapters this is gonna be, probably not many, but read and review anyhoo!

Thankies

**

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Chapter 1 - Chocolate**

"Reno, for the love of… will you please stop it?" Elena said huffily.

"Stop what?" Reno replied, smirking.

"You know exactly what, you're tapping on the table, and it's annoying."

"I don't know what you're talkin' about…" Reno said happily, and went back to drumming on the desk in front of him.

"Why am I even sharing an office with you anyway? Is yours quarantined or something?"

"No… roof repairs."

"Roof repairs?"

"Well, I didn't know I could throw the EMR that high…"

"Right… well can you at least do some work?"

"What?"

"Work, Reno."

"What's that?"

"Reno…?" Elena growled under her breath.

"Who?" Reno grinned.

"RENO!"

Their argument was interrupted by Tseng sharply opening the office door. He looked livid and Reno quickly wiped the grin off his face.

"What is going on in here?" Tseng asked in a slightly defeated voice.

"Nothing…" Reno and Elena said simultaneously.

"Well, you two sort yourselves out, or one of you will go work with Rufus, and I don't care which one it is."

At that, he stepped out and closed the door, slightly too hard behind him.

"Your fault." Reno said bluntly reaching into his desk draw for something.

"Whatever Reno."  
"Aww, I'm sorry 'Laney. Here, I got chocolate, you want some?"

Elena stared at Reno briefly, and then her gaze turned to the chocolate in Reno's hand.

"I'm alright, but thank you anyway." She said politely.

"Aww, why?" Reno asked stuffing a piece of chocolate in his mouth. "Are you on one of them diets again?"

"Why do you ask?" Elena said raising her eyebrows.

Reno swallowed his chocolate, "Well, you usually take some."  
"Well… ok. Yes I am, as a matter of I am."

"Oh… you sure you don't want a little bit?"

"No…"

"Is that a no you're not sure, or a no you don't want any?"  
"Reno!" Elena said angrily.

"Sorry… is it the diet that makes you this stressy, or is that just PMS?"

"Reno…" Elena rolled her eyes.

"Sorry 'Lena. But seriously…"

"Dieting is hard, Reno." Elena said in a defeated voice.

"But how can it be? Especially as you don't go on diets, it's more like a healthy eating rampage." Reno rolled his eyes, these 'healthy eating rampages' usually spread through the whole of Shinra Inc.

"I'd like to see you try it, Reno. You wouldn't last one day."

"You wanna bet?" Reno said cockily.

"Yeah, I do…"

"How much…?"

"Ok, let's work this out properly, you eat nothing but health food for 2 weeks. If you cave in before that time is up, you have to… do all your paperwork, and mine for a month."

"Fine."

"And if you do it…"

"You have to come on a date with me." Reno said, smirking.

"Fine. You're on." Elena smiled to herself. Reno without junk food was like a fish without water… unthinkable.


	2. Fire

**A/N: **M'kay, chapter 2 of this thingamabob! Thanks for the good reviews for the first chapter. And yes, I know this it pretty short, but it's only gonna be a short fic, so I'm allowed to. Enjoy!!**

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**Chapter 2 - Fire**

Something was wrong; Tseng knew it from the still-full bag of doughnuts on the side in the employee lounge. Whenever there was doughnuts in the building, Reno finished most of the bag before lunch. But 2pm and they were still there? Tseng put down his pen and left his office to find the reason for this impossible event.

As he opened the door to Elena's office, his jaw nearly dropped in shock. Both Reno and Elena were sitting in silence, working quietly.

"Oh, hey Sir." Elena said, looking up. Reno looked up as well, his eyes darting back and forth from the window to the door. Surprisingly, he didn't say a word to Tseng.

"Alright…" Tseng said, crossing his arms, "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Elena asked innocently.  
"This…" he pointed at Reno, "This does not happen. Ever."

"Well, you see sir, Reno's not as …hyped up as he usually is."

"Why's that?"  
"Because he's decided to give up the unhealthy food."

"So he's dieting?" Tseng couldn't believe his ears. He stared at Reno, who was still looking repeatedly backwards and forwards.

"Yeah, but for a reason… we had a bet."

Tseng turned his gaze to Elena and shook his head. "He's going to starve to death." He said before walking out.

* * *

"Reno?" Elena said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah… how about you? Feelin' the burn?"

"Huh? Ow Reno!" she screamed pulling her hand away from him. Reno laughed and clicked the lighter in his hand shut, putting it back in his pocket.

"I thought you said you didn't smoke?" Elena said sceptically.

"I don't…" Reno shrugged his shoulders, "Can't a guy not have a lighter in his pocket without being questioned."

Elena rolled her eyes and looked back down to her paperwork. Reno shifted slightly in his seat and sighed.

"Aren't you going to carry on doing that?" Elena asked pointing at Reno's papers.

"Nah, I'm bored of doin' that…" Reno said lazily.

"Well, do something. At least so it looks like you're working."

Elena carried on writing for a few minutes while Reno entertained himself by looking through Elena's desk drawers.

"How many pens can one person have? Surely you're not expecting to write that much?" Reno asked.

"No, Reno. I have that many because you always borrow mine, and loose them… or eat them."

"I do not _eat _your pens!" Reno said, shocked.

"Well, when I get them back, they certainly don't look like pens."

"I wouldn't eat anything from you're desk…" Reno pouted.

"Reno, that's a lie. Every time I have food of any sort in there, it's gone by the end of the day."

"Yeah, you probably ate it…" Reno protested in a hopeless attempt to defend himself.

"No, I don't think so, Reno. I would like to know how you get to take things when my office door is locked all day though."

Reno smirked and tapped his nose, "Turks intuition."


	3. Conversation

**A/N: **wooo! Chapter 3 -- I apologise for all the ridiculously lame jokes I'm putting in this lol. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, I wasn't expecting so many!! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3 - Conversation**

"Well, Reno… what are you planning on having for lunch?" Elena asked smugly as she sat eating her own lunch.

"Dunno…" said Reno, shrugging his shoulders. He looked extremely irritable.

"Sure you wanna do this still?" She asked him, grinning, "It's not too late to back out… of course, there is the paperwork to take into account."  
"No, I'm doin' it."

About five minutes later, Tseng and Rude came and sat down at Reno and Elena's table. Elena looked up and smiled at them, but Reno ignored them and sat there biting his fingernails.

"Not very talkative today, are you Reno?" Tseng said casually.

"Shut up, Tseng," Reno snapped, "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you."

Tseng merely smiled to himself and went back to his lunch. Elena laughed slightly, but quickly stopped upon receiving a glare from Tseng.

"So, who's winning this bet so far then?" Tseng asked, a couple of minutes later.

"Well, nobody yet. It's been too soon for Reno to cave in yet…" Elena told him. Reno ignored her insult and pretended to be more interested in his fingers. "Why are you so interested, sir? I would have thought you'd have told us not to go ahead with this…"

"Oh, no reason…" Tseng replied airily.

* * *

"What the hell's wrong with you, Reno?" Elena asked after they had returned to Elena's office. He had just slammed the door shut, making several chunks of plaster fall off the wall.

"It should be illegal, I tell you." He said moodily.

"What should?"

"Tseng! People like that, going 'round all day, actin' like the sun shines out of his ass. It's annoying!"

"Reno!" Elena tried to calm the red-head, "Calm down, Reno! Listen, maybe this whole, 'diet' thing isn't such a good idea after all."

"What? Oh no, I'm not falling for that one. I know your plan. But goin' on a date with me won't be that bad, ya know." Reno smirked.

"Yeah, I know… 'cause I won't end up going."

"You wanna bet on that?"

"Uhh, Reno? We already are."

"Oh… yeah."

* * *

Elena was bored. Extremely bored. That was the only bad thing about Tseng allowing them to leave work earlier was that she no longer had Reno to keep her entertained. Sighing she pulled out her cell phone.

"Reno?" She said. He had picked up the phone but not said anything.

"Juft 'angon a fec." came her reply.

"Excuse me?"

It took a few minutes for her next reply to come. "Sorry… hey 'Laney."

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, why?"

"Hmmm, just asking." Elena replied. "I was just bored so I thought…"

"Don't you usually ring Tseng at a time like that?" Although Elena couldn't see him, she knew he was smirking.

"Hilarious, aren't you Reno?" Elena said sarcastically.

"Ooo, being sarcastic now are we? Sarcasm is the lowest from of wit, you know that?"

"Is that why you use it so often?"

"Ahh, no one understands the complexity of my intelligence…"

"Right…" Elena knew that when Reno started using big words, it was time to go. "Well, I'm… gonna go now. See ya later."

"See ya 'Laney."


	4. Forgiveness

**A/N: **woo chapter shortness!! Hehe enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4 - Forgiveness**

As Elena made her way to work the next morning, she could hear voices before she even got in through the door to the Turks lounge. What surprised her most though was who it was with raised voices. First was the unmistakable voice of Reno, and the other was Rude.

"…If you're not going to tell her, then I am. You can't cheat a date out of her, Reno…" Rude said.

"Fine then. Have fun."

"Tell me what?" Elena asked walking through the door.

"Reno's been cheating on your bet…" Rude said before Reno had the chance to open his mouth.

"What?"

"It's true. I went over there last night…" Rude told her. She didn't need to be told any more.

"Well, Reno… looks like you're going to be busy for the next month." Elena said smugly."  
"Nuh-uh. You ain't got any proof." Reno pouted.

"Reno, we had a bet…"

"No."

"Reno…"

"No."

* * *

Elena had never been so ticked off before at Reno… well, maybe there was one time. When he had lost his Shinra ID card, he had to apply for a new one, and under name he had written: _"Just ask 'Laney, she was screaming it all night." …_ but that was a different story. Reno had got his just desserts for that. Elena didn't go the sly prank route that Reno went for, she had walked up to him and kicked him straight where it hurt most. She had to admit, she felt a little guilty when Reno didn't turn up for work the next day.

"'Laney?" Reno's voice, slightly whiney, came from the doorway, "'Laney?"

"What, Reno?" she said coldly.

"I'm sorry…"

"No you're not, you wouldn't have done it otherwise."

"Yeah, that's why I want to try the bet again." Reno said, slightly awkwardly.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah…"

"How do I know you're not gonna cheat again?" She asked suspiciously.

"Well… I could stay at yours…" he suggested.

"So, I'd never let you out of my sight? Hmmm, is that the reason, or have you been playing catch with that EMR again?"

"No… I'm bein' serious… I feel bad now." He looked up at her and gave her the best puppy-dog eyes look he could.

"Ok…" Elena sighed. She didn't believe a word he said; there was no way Reno would feel bad for something like that. But she gave in anyway.

"Woohoo! 100 gil for me!" he shouted excitedly.

"Excuse me?" Elena asked. Reno ignored her and ran out of the room.

"Would you mind telling me what that was about?" Elena asked, stepping into the next room. Rude looked up at her.

"Reno bet me 100 gil that he could get you to forgive him."


	5. Platinum

**A/N: **hmmm, not so much with the funnies this time: I promise the next chapter will be funnier XD Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5 – Platinum**

"'Laney… Laaaaaney…." Reno repeatedly whined.

"What?!" Elena snapped. It was amazing: she really didn't think Reno could get anymore annoying, but clearly this lack of sugar was not working the wonders she had hoped.

"I dunno." Reno said grinning. Elena went back to her TV programme. She wasn't really interested in it, and to be honest, she didn't even know what it was, she was just trying to find something to help her ignore Reno. Maybe letting Reno stay at her apartment wasn't such a good idea.

"Reno, what are you doing?" Elena asked, trying to keep her temper.

"Nothing." Reno replied innocently.

"Uh-huh, and what are you planning on doing?"

"I dunno, why?"

"Because… you will be surprised at how much you are annoying me, just by being here."

"Well sorry…" Reno said over-dramatically.

"Just shut up." Elena went back to watching her TV programme, which it turned out was something called "Super nanny." It was quite amusing actually, as most of the annoying, irritable little kids on there reminded her immensely of Reno.

He had fallen silent. Elena didn't turn around to look, just because it was too good to be true. She looked at the clock to see it was 11:20pm. Then she brought herself to look over at Reno. He had somehow managed to lie down on an armchair, his long legs hanging over the end. His red hair was messy and over his face, due to lack of his goggles, and his eyes were shut. Elena had to admit, it was hard to believe that this Reno, and the one who had cheated on their bet were the same person. He looked so innocent… and vulnerable.

* * *

"Reno!" Elena said happily. She shook him roughly.

"Uhhh…" he replied vaguely.

"Reno!" she said louder.

"What!?"

"It's 8 o'clock, you're gonna be late for work."

Reno opened his eyes and looked at Elena; she was already dressed in her Shinra uniform. In fact, so was Reno, but of course that was from the night before, and the various wrinkles in it were no more than usual.

Reno stood up and stretched, eyeing Elena suspiciously.

"What are you smilin' at so early?" he asked.

"Oh nothing…" she was obviously finding it difficult not to laugh.

"Hmm…" Reno rolled his eyes, and could tell something was different. He headed towards the bathroom, not taking his eyes off Elena's never-faltering smile.

"What the hell have you done!" she heard Reno scream moments later. Elena could control it no longer; she headed into the bathroom, laughing hysterically.

"I think it's rather… striking." She snorted.

"Elena!" Reno said, his expression was of utter shock as he looked in the bathroom mirror. He poked at his hair, which was now platinum blonde.

"I have to admit… I should have waited till Halloween." Elena carried on, as Reno pulled his ponytail out in front of him to examine that as well. "You would have made a great ghost."

"Elena! This is not funny!" Reno said, still shocked.

"It could have been worse, just think of all the colors I could have chosen!" Elena defended herself.

"Whatever." Reno ruffled his hair up a little and pouted.

"C'mon Reno. Stop being self-conscious and lets go. We're gonna be late."

"Do you know how bad this looks?" Reno stated, "I look dead."  
"The first fashion disaster you actually care about. Have you seen your suit? I suppose you're not gonna change out of that…"

"No, I don't have time…" Reno told her, "And I happen to be very proud of my hair."

* * *

"Morning, Elena, Reno… whoa!" Tseng stared at Reno as he walked through the door. "What the…?"

"Screw you, Tseng…" Reno said moodily as Elena stifled a laugh. Reno headed straight through the Turk's lounge, presumably towards the staff canteen.

"What the hell happened?" Tseng asked after Reno had left.

"Ha, he should know better that to annoy me for that long…" Elena said happily, "I wonder how long it will take him to realise it washes out?"


	6. Signs

**A/N: **woo teh funnies!! LOL, This may end up being longer than i first thought. Thank you so much for all your reviews, I'm so glad you're enjoying this **

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**Chapter 6 - Signs**

"Hey there, blondie." Elena said happily, walking past Reno's desk.

"Shut up." Reno said moodily. He flicked his blonde hair out of his face and looked back down to his paperwork.

"Reno…" Tseng stepped into Reno and Elena's office.

"What!" Reno snapped.

"Okay, one, please will you calm down? And two, I have something I need you to do."

"What?" Reno said slightly more calmly this time, sighing.

"Well, you may think I don't know, but I do know where you and other Shinra employees used to sneak out and smoke."  
"Hey! I gave up ages ago!" Reno interrupted.

"Yes, Reno. I know." Tseng said, trying to keep himself collected, "But that doesn't get rid of the mess. President Shinra had asked me to tell you to clean it up."

"Me? Why do I have to do it?" Reno asked, shocked.

"Because all the other Shinra employees that smoked there are either dead or clinically insane. Despite the debatable issue of _your_ sanity, I think you are the most worthy candidate."

"But…"

"It's not a request to be challenged Reno."

"Huh?"

"I told you, I didn't ask you. Now go." Tseng finished before Tseng left the room.

Reno sat back down at his desk, seemingly deep in thought.

"Don't you think you should do what he told you, blondie?" Elena suggested.

"I swear you call me that again… I have my EMR back now you know."

"Alright. So are you gonna do it then?"

"Hmmm… you know how my ceiling was bein' repaired?" he said, grinning.

"Yeah…" Elena replied curiously.

"You know where that wood is that them guys left outside?"

"It's still in the corridor near your office I think."

"Oh great. Well, see ya later 'Laney." Reno said happily before leaving the room.

Elena shook her head; she was sure she would never understand that man.

* * *

"Elena?" Tseng opened her office door again and looked around. "I need you to do something for me. File your papers along with these…" he placed a stack of papers on Elena's desk. "And can you take them to President Shinra for me?"

"Yes, Sir." Elena said, pulling the papers towards her.

"Thank you, Elena." Tseng sighed and left the room. At least not all his Turks were as hard to tell what to do as Reno.

A little while later, after Elena had taken the papers to President Shinra, she returned to her and Reno's office to see Reno with his feet propped up on his desk, clearly asleep.

"Reno…" She said, nudging him. Reno grunted quietly but didn't wake up. "Reno!" she said, louder, pushing him a little too hard. All at once, his foot slipped of the table and he landed hard on the floor.

"'Lena, you freakin' idiot!" Reno screamed, finally waking up. Elena could not help but laugh. She held her hand out and pulled him easily to his feet.

"Sorry, Reno." She said, smiling, "Surely you haven't finished cleaning up? I've seen it there, it's a mess."

"Ha, you'll see." Reno said, grinning.

Several minutes passed in silence until the office door opened once again and Tseng walked in. His expression was somewhere between amusement and annoyance. Elena looked at Reno; in the short time he had been back at his desk, he had managed to fall asleep again, his newly blonde hair pushed backwards, giving him a slight, temporary resemblance of Rufus Shinra. Tseng smiled to himself and pulled a gun out of his pocket.

"Sir!" Elena said, shocked.

"It's a starting pistol." Tseng said smiling, "I confiscated it off Reno a couple of years ago."

Elena watched at Tseng pointed the pistol in the air and fired, making an incredibly loud bang, but not firing a bullet. Reno jumped and nearly fell out of his chair for the second time that day.

"What the…! Oh my god!" Reno yelled.

"Reno, I would like you to go and do what I asked you." Tseng said calmly.

"I did!"

"Let me rephrase that; I would like you to go and do what I asked you, and do it properly."

"Fine. 'Laney, come with me."

Elena and Reno followed Tseng out of the room and began to walk around the side of the building where the smokers usually stood. Elena laughed out loud at what she saw.

Propped up against the wall was a large piece of wood, obviously left over from Reno's roof repairs. Written across it in large red letters was: _"Please don't drop your cigarette ends on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer."_

"Oh my god, Reno." Elena said, laughing. It really was Reno's sense of humour that kept everyone going there, Elena thought as she watched the people walking past, laughing.

"What?" Reno said, looking innocent, "He never told me how to do it."


	7. Flour

**A/N: **Oh god, i have the stupidest sense of humour, coz the jokes in this probably aren't funny XD

Well anyhoo, thankies so much to everyone for their reviews so far!!

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**Chapter 7 – Flour**

"I'm still gonna get you back ya know." Reno said. He sat cross-legged on Elena's couch, his blonde hair falling into his eyes.

"Aw, Reno!" Elena said, reaching over and ruffling Reno's hair. "You look cute with blonde."

"No I don't and quit it." Reno said moodily, smacking her hand away.

"Alright, calm down. I'm going to get a shower. And remember our bet Reno; no raiding my fridge."

"Yeah, ok…" Reno said, smirking.

"What was that look for?" Elena asked, "I mean it, and I will know."

"I know." Reno said, still smirking, "Bye 'Laney."

Elena walked off in the direction of her bathroom while Reno watched her. Once he was sure she was gone, he got up and headed to her bedroom.

Elena shook her head and turned on her shower. She looked in the mirror while she was waiting for it to heat up, and shook her head.

_Surely it's not that bad being blonde? _She thought to herself_. But when you've been a redhead for that long, it had to be a bit of a shock. Well if he'd just wash his hair more often, he'd see it will wash out straight out…_

* * *

Elena finished washing her hair and stepped out of the shower. Looking in the mirror she rubbed her hair to dry it and began thinking about Reno again. She didn't really understand why he didn't suit being blonde, because Elena had pale skin herself. She guessed Reno was just whole new evolution of pale.

"Hey, 'Laney!" Reno said brightly as she stepped back into the living room. She sat down next to Reno, eyeing him strangely.

"What's got you so happy?" Elena asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, just missed ya!"

"In the whole 10 minutes I was gone? Right… I'm gonna dry my hair."

Elena made her way to her bedroom and was surprised when Reno got up and followed her.

"Can I help you?" she asked, sitting down next to her dressing table and picking up her hairdryer.

"No, not really." He said, he seemed to be trying not to laugh.

"Uh… Reno? Why is there a bag of flour on my dressing table?" Elena asked suspiciously.

"I dunno 'Laney. Maybe you left it there."

Reno watched as Elena plugged her hairdryer in and turned in on, resulting her getting a face and head full of white powder. Reno immediately fell into fits of laughter.

"Haha, now who's blonde!?" Reno said, practically in hysterics.

"YOU PUT FLOUR IN MY HAIR DRYER!!" Elena screamed. She wiped the powder off her face and scowled at Reno. Then, out of pure anger, she grabbed the bag of flour and dumped the remaining contents on Reno's head. He completely ignored her and carried on laughing, until he heard his cell phone ringing.

"W-what?" he said, still laughing at the fuming expression on Elena's face.

"Reno?" Tseng's voice replied, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" he gasped, "Yeah, great."

"I need you and Elena to come into work today after all. There's something I need the two of you to do."  
"A-alright… we might be a few minutes though… okay?"

"Just hurry up." Tseng said. He obviously didn't want to know what Reno found so funny.

"Thanks a lot Reno, now I'm gonna have to wash my hair again."

"Yeah me too!" Reno protested.

"Can't do _you _and harm. You won't dissolve. And I'm going first."

"Fine." Reno shrugged. "I don't care… I'll just be late for work."

* * *

Elena had been at work for half an hour already and Reno still hadn't showed up. Tseng had told her what they were supposed to be doing; all that remained now was to wait for Reno to show up.

"'Laney!?" she heard a call from her office door and looked up as Reno walked in. She had to admit, seeing Reno for two days with platinum blonde hair, it was a shock to see him walk in with his normal brick red hair. He looked at Elena slightly suspiciously.

"Why didn't you tell me that it washed out?" he asked.

"'Cause it was funny." Elena said, smiling. "Anyway; mission."

"Yeah, what about it?" Reno said lazily.  
"We have to go to Costa del Sol, to collect some materia…"

"Why?" Reno interrupted.

"If you'd let me finish… apparently sending stuff like that on the ropeway isn't allowed anymore."

"Why?"

"I don't know…"

"Why?"

"Reno, is it written in your religion or something, that you _have_ to annoy me?"

"Yep." Reno said happily. "It's called Satanism."

* * *

"'Laney, shut up, I'm concentrating." Reno said in a falsely irritated voice. He was piloting one of the Shinra helicopters, albeit dangerously, towards Costa del Sol.

"I didn't say anything."

"You just did."

"Honestly… how the _hell _did you get a helicopter piloting license?" Elena asked.

"Through a lot of bribery…" Reno said grinning. He ran his hand through his fiery hair and looked back, concentrating on what he was doing. A moment or two of silence passed, predictably broken again by Reno.

"Aww, man! I'm so hungry…" he moaned.

"Well, you'll have to wait until we get back now." Elena told him.

"What? Why?" Reno said, positively stunned.  
"It's Costa del Sol, Reno. All the food there is junk food."

"What? That's not junk food!"

"God, Reno… I don't know where you learned what is right to eat, but I think you need to re-learn it if you want to win our bet."

"Hmph." Reno pouted. Elena decided then and there that is was a good idea to be quiet. Letting Reno pilot a helicopter when he was in a bad mood was a very, very bad idea.


	8. Beach

**A/N: **WOONESS!! another chapter... this is turning into a Reno vs Elena fic XDDDD enjoy!!**

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**Chapter 8 - Beach**

Elena looked at Reno and smiled to herself. He would break, she knew it. He seemed to be close to tears as he walked past the various food stalls. Then he decided to take a new approach. He looked at Elena and smirked.

"Ya smell that 'Laney?" he breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of doughnuts. "Mmmm…"

"Reno?" Elena stopped walking and crossed her arms. "I don't _like _doughnuts."

"Oh…" Reno looked blankly for a minute, "You eat them when we get them at work…"

"No, I don't."

"Where'd they go then?"

"_You _eat most of them…"

"Do I?" Reno looked confused for a moment. Elena rolled her eyes and grabbed Reno's arm.

"Come on, we haven't got all day…"

"We have ya know…" Reno said, trying to resist Elena pulling on his arm.

"Have what?" Elena asked, letting go of him.

"..got all day…" Reno grinned. "Ya know what these idiots at materia places are like…" he put on an extremely girly accent. "_Sorry, sir, we don't have that at the moment… you can come back in a few hours…"_

Elena stifled a giggle. It was disturbing, but that was actually quite a good impression. Reno grinned at her and opened the door to the materia shop.

"Shinra?" The woman behind the counter asked nervously. Elena knew exactly what was coming; the woman was young, blonde and pretty.

"You got it sweetheart…" Reno said grinning and leaning on the counter. The woman blushed and checked a list on her clipboard.  
"How long are you going to be in town?" She asked.

"However long this crap takes…" Reno muttered under his breath.

"What's the wait?" Elena asked loudly.

"Ummm, about two hours." She said, double-checking her clipboard. Reno rolled his eyes and Elena smacked him lightly in the head.

"We can wait. Thanks." Elena made to leave the shop, dragging Reno after her.

Both of them stepped out into the sunlight, looking at each other. Elena stared at Reno, and then suddenly started laughing.

"What?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

Elena reached up and tugged at Reno's hair. Reno gasped slightly in pain and she pulled her arm back down, showing him a single platinum blonde hair.

"How the hell did you see that?" Reno asked, shocked.

"I'm a woman… anyway; do you not know how to wash your hair properly?"

"Yeah, thank you." Reno pouted.

"So how come…" she pulled another one off his ponytail, "You've missed some then?"

"I dunno… c'mon, what we gonna do for two hours?"

"We could go down to the beach? I knew we would be waiting, so I brought some stuff… and no that does not include a bikini." Elena said, seeing the grin form on Reno's face.

"Fine." Reno pouted again and the two of them headed down towards the beach.

* * *

Elena pulled a towel out of her bag and laid it on the sand, sitting down carefully. Reno ignored the towel and plopped down on the bare sand, his legs crossed. He was carefully inspecting his ponytail for stray blonde hairs. Elena couldn't help but smile at him.

"Reno? Why must you always chose to do things the difficult way?" Elena asked, eyeing the sand that was already on Reno's suit.

"I'm not…" Reno said distantly, "It's not hard for me, 'cause I don't really care."

Elena rolled her eyes, unable to come up with a comeback. Sure, Reno didn't make sense a lot of the time, but he usually came up with comebacks that were somehow logical.

"I'm going to go find a bathroom, Reno. Wait here." Elena said, getting up.

"Well, I'm hardly gonna follow ya, am I 'Laney?" Reno said, looking up at her.

"You never know with you, Reno… I worry sometimes."

Reno merely stared at her and grinned mischievously. Elena eyed him suspiciously.

"Hmm…" She said, before heading away from the beach.

* * *

"Stupid beaches… I had to walk about 2 miles just to find a damn toilet…" Elena muttered to herself. It wasn't difficult to find her spot again; Reno was still sitting there inspecting his hair.

"Hey 'Laney!" he said, overly cheerfully. "What took ya so long?"

"Grr, just don't even ask." Elena said angrily. "C'mon, let's go back to that materia shop."

"Ok…"

Elena watched as Reno stood up and stepped forwards, then he disappeared out of her line of sight. She looked down at him, now sat in a three-foot deep hole, previously hidden underneath Elena's towel.

"Haha, Reno? You set that up for me, didn't you?" Elena said, looking at Reno's disappointed face. Suddenly, she cracked up laughing. "How can anyone be that stupid?" she giggled.

"Shut up 'Laney." Reno said, standing up and brushing the sand off him.

"Ha, maybe you should have stayed blonde for a little longer…"

"You're blonde, retard." He said moodily.

"Only by color, not by brains." Elena said, smirking.


	9. Beer

**A/N: **another update! I'm so happy with all the reviews I've been getting ... this such a random chapter, I don't know where this came from XD

Enjoy

**

* * *

Chapter 9 - Beer**

"Ooh, look! Bolt materia!" Reno said excitedly, looking through the materia that they had just received.

"Reno… put it down." Elena said seriously. She definitely did not trust Reno with materia when he was unsupervised by a superior.

"Wow, I don't even know what this does… shall we find out?" Reno held up a rather odd looking materia.

"No! Reno, just leave them alone." Elena said overpoweringly.

"Alright, alright." Reno sighed. He came to the conclusion that messing around with materia in the middle of a crowded bar was probably not such a good idea after all. He took a long drink from his beer and grinned at Elena.

"Hey, 'Laney?" he said. "How 'bout a little bet?"

"Reno, how many bets are you planning on doing with me? You're going to be very busy for the next few months if you're not careful."

"Nah, I bet you… that you can't balance two glasses of beer on your hand at the same time."

"What? Why would I want to?"

"To prove a point 'Laney." Reno scratched the back of his head and grinned again. "You see, I'm sayin' that you can't."

"Well… you obviously can." Elena said, laughing slightly.

"Exactly. So let's prove it…"

"Fine."

Reno grinned to himself. He could always get Elena to agree with anything he said, even if she wasn't realising it at the time. He leaned over and grabbed Elena's drink.

"Right, put your hands palm up on the table." He told her. Elena smiled and did what he said, watching as Reno commenced balancing the two glasses on her hands.

"There!" he said happily, as he pulled away. "All done."

"What are you do happy about? I won the bet."

"Yeah 'Laney, but what do you win?" Reno smirked.

"…I hate you." Elena scowled.

"No, that's not what you win, although you can win the 'me' part of that…" Reno grinned, knowing that he wouldn't get a slap because Elena's hands were otherwise preoccupied.

"Shut it, Reno. And get the glasses off my hands." Elena stared at Reno and knew immediately that agreeing to his bet was a bad idea from the mischievous grin on his face.

"Reno?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I told you to." Elena gritted her teeth.

"Ah, but I don't think I should, after how rude you've just been to me." Reno grinned smugly.

"What did I do?"

"You said you hated me." Reno pretended to be upset.

"I don't hate you really…" Elena said rolling her eyes.

"Prove it." Reno crossed his arms. "Say 'I love you Reno and I hope you do win our bet 'cause I really wanna go on a date with you.'"

"What!" Elena blushed. "No!"

"Fine." Reno shrugged his shoulders. "I won't take the drinks off your hands."

"Fine, 'I love you and I hope you win this bet so I can go on a date with you.' Happy?"

"You didn't mean it though…" Reno said. Elena glared at him, telling his enough was enough, and he took the glasses off her hands.

The next thing Reno knew, Elena's hand was fast approaching him before colliding hard with his face, hard enough to knock him to the ground.

"Thank you, Reno." Elena said politely, offering a hand to help him back up.


	10. Email

**A/N: **Ok, this chapters probably not as funny as the rest. But I based off something that got sent to me so yeah...

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Email**

"Reno, wake up!" Elena shook the red-head; he had just fallen asleep for the fifth time.

"Uhhh…" Reno groaned, obviously still asleep.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Who falls asleep at 2:30 in the afternoon?" Elena prodded him in the ribs.

"Ow!" Reno yelped, rubbing his side. "What was that for?"

"You keep falling asleep. And I'm trying to remind you about that report you have to type up for Tseng."

"You gotta do it too." Reno said scratching his head.

"I know, I'm doing it now, you idiot." Elena pointed to the laptop in front of her.

"Oh…" He sounded confused.

"Oh will you just drink some coffee or something? I don't know if it's just 'cause you have no sugar, but you have the attention span of a dead person."

"Ok." Reno grinned and left the office, obviously in search of coffee. Elena shook her head, remembering immediately that telling Reno to go get coffee was like signing her own death wish.

* * *

Reno got back about an hour later, holding a plastic cup of coffee and grinning to himself.

"Reno? What took you so long?" Elena asked.

"Damn cafeteria didn't have any coffee, so I went down the road."

"You went all the way to the nearest café to get coffee? Does Tseng know?"

"No, I tried to find him, I really did." Reno said nodding his head.

"Yeah right. Here, I got Tseng's laptop for you. Don't mess around with it."

"Oh, ok." Reno grinned and took the laptop.

* * *

Elena watched, and had to stop herself from laughing. She couldn't help it; seeing Reno concentrate was just too amusing. She had to admit though, he could type remarkably quickly.

"What are you smilin' at?" Reno said looking up.

"Nothing." Elena smiled innocently and looked at her laptop again, she could she had just gotten an email… from Reno?

Opening it, she smiled. She knew it was too good to be true that Reno was actually working.

"_Today is national Good Looking Person day, send this to someone gorgeous. Don't send it to me, I've received hundreds."_

"Reno?" she enquired. "So you think I'm gorgeous?"

"No, not really." He replied grinning. "I'm not exactly gonna send it to Rufus, am I?"

Elena looked down at her laptop, and smiled again. She began typing.

5 minutes later, Reno burst out laughing. "Oh, comedian aren't we? _"Today is National Annoying Person day. Send this to someone who is so annoying you want to murder them at times, but don't send it to me because I hate you." _Well 'Laney, I'm hurt."

"You will be in a minute. Now shut up and get on with the report. You know that Tseng can trace everything you've been doing on his laptop, don't you?"

Reno blushed slightly, "Oops. Oh, well. I've left him a little present on there anyway now. I'm sure he'd appreciate it, I know all the good…"

"Reno!" Elena interrupted him, "I don't want to know."

"Oh, suit yourself." Reno looked back down to the laptop.


	11. Sick

**A/N: **RAWR! Wow, my attention span has gona completely down the pan, it took me three days to do this.

And it's not funny, really its not... I think I'm goin downhill, well let me know. Thanks Le Pecore Nere for the help with the quotes

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Sick**

"So, Reno. You've been healthy for a whole week now, how does it feel?" Elena asked him brightly.

"Crap." Reno said, rolling over. Elena had been trying to get him to get up for the past 10 minutes, and every attempt up till now was unsuccessful.

"Wow, you're serious aren't you? You look terrible." Elena put her hand on his forehead. "You're boiling."

"Uhhh…" Reno groaned.

"You know Tseng won't let you stay off work, you've had too many sick days recently."  
"What's the time?" he croaked.

"Five to eight, we have to be at work in five minutes."

"Go and tell Tseng I'll be late, I gotta get a shower or something…"

"Ok, well don't be too late…" Elena said, standing up and heading out. She was a little bit worried though. Despite the fact that Reno rang in sick for the stupidest things sometimes, she thought he was actually genuinely sick this time.

* * *

"Where's Reno?" Tseng said as soon as Elena walked in through the door. She looked at him, slightly shocked by this abrupt greeting. 

"Back at my apartment." Elena told him. "Why? You look mad…"

"He just rang in… he said he'd used all his sick days so he tried to call in dead."

"Oh…" Elena stifled a giggle. "Umm..."

"I told him to come in…"

"He wasn't even up when I left sir; he said he wanted to get a shower."

"Oh…" Tseng shrugged his shoulders. "Can't do him any harm."

When Elena entered her office, she found that all the paperwork she had left there the day before was exactly the same. Sighing, she sat down and began to write.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she had been working for when Reno arrived, but she had to look twice when he walked through the door, to check that it actually was Reno. 

"Reno?" Elena asked, "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" Reno snapped, scowling at her.

"Sorry." Elena watched as Reno sat down with his eyes shut. She was growing more and more concerned as he didn't seem to be breathing. "Reno?"

"What!?" his eyes snapped open.

"Will you calm down?"

"I am calm… ok, what am I doing?"

"Work, preferably." Elena said, going through her papers.

"What work?"

"Your work… Reno, do you have a one track mind or something? You can't ever think of two things at once."

"Hey, my mind works like lightning…" Reno said vaguely.

"Yeah, one brilliant flash and it's gone."

"Funny…" Reno said sarcastically. He held up some papers. "I filled these in already. Where are the ones I haven't done?"

"Well…" Elena stood up and made her way to Reno's desk, shifting some of the things aside. "If you were just a little bit organized, then you might be able to find things easier."

"That's never gonna happen 'Laney, and you know it." Reno said, leaning back in his chair. "The odds of that happening are as much as you winning our bet." He grinned.

"Well, you better get started now then, 'cause I'm gonna win. You're already cracking, it's obvious."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Reno said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing." Elena said airily, grabbing some more of Reno's papers; she seemed to just be automatically tidying it for him. "But you are very ill today Reno."

"So? It's obviously just…"

"Just what?"

"How can me not havin' junk food make me ill?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Whatever."

After about half an hour, Elena managed to tidy Reno's desk, at least so he actually had space to work. And, predictably, while she had been doing it, Reno had fallen asleep.

"Reno, wake up!" Elena shouted in his ear. Surprisingly, he didn't wake up. "What the… Reno!" she almost screamed.

"What the hell!" Reno shouted, almost falling off his chair.

"If I'm gonna tidy up your office, you could at least have the decency to stay awake… and how the hell did me yelling in your ear not wake you up?"

"I dunno… leave me alone…" Reno said miserably. He looked all the worse for being woken up. He had dark shadows around his eyes and looked even paler than usual.

"Reno, you need to do some work, that's what you're here for."  
"Don't tell me how to my job 'Laney, I know perfectly well how to slack off." Reno put his feet on his newly cleared desk and closed his eyes.


	12. Coffee

**A/N: **woo, I'm so happy, this story has beaten my review record with 62! I really wasn't expecting it to do this well, so thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far; it really means a lot to me I've gotten over all my writers block (I think) , so hopefully all my stories will be better.

Enjoy

* * *

**Chapter 12 - Coffee**

After a couple of hours, Reno had obviously had enough sleep, and had taken to annoying Elena again. Even though she had been working for quite a long time, she didn't seem to have gotten anything done, because of Reno distracting her.

"'Laney…?" Reno said in a slightly annoying voice.

"What?" Elena said, rolling her eyes.

"Did you have to take that exam before you came into the Turks?"

"Reno? Is this ask-Elena-stupid-question day or something?"

"No, I'm asking a logical question… I'm just interested."

"No, I didn't…" Elena sighed.

"Why?"

"Because you were a complete idiot and got yourself hurt, so I was an emergency replacement."

"I find that offensive." Reno said, shocked. "I'm not a complete idiot."

"Yeah, there are some parts missing…"

"Ooh and how would you know that?" Reno said raising an eyebrow and grinning.

"You don't shut up, and there really will be bits missing." Elena said, slightly angrily.

"Well that's not very nice is it; I know you want a piece of me… can't blame ya… OUCH!" Reno put his hand to his face where Elena had just slapped him. "What was that for?"

"I wonder…" Elena said sarcastically. "Will you just get on with the work? You haven't done any for weeks."

"Nah, don't feel like it." Reno said lazily.

"Reno, do you still feel ill?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Do the work before I go get Hojo to 'make you feel better'"

Reno wasn't entirely sure in what way Elena meant that, but whatever way, it couldn't be good. "Wait, I'll do it, just let me go get coffee."

"Reno, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Elena said cautiously. She had noticed that Reno had been drinking quite a remarkable amount of coffee lately, obviously trying to get his energy from somewhere other than the diabetics nightmare he called a meal. And of course, this could never be a good thing; the extra caffeine in Reno's system would not go down well with the other staff members, especially Tseng. On top of all that, she would probably get it in the neck too, as Reno was residing in her office, she was probably supposed to be supervising him to some extent.

"Why not?" Reno asked, pouting. Elena smiled; he actually looked quite cute when he did that.

"Huh?" Elena looked at him. "Because I said so."

"Well, you can't stop me, so see ya later!" Reno said, and then he stuck his tongue out and ran out of their office. Elena shook her head, she would never understand how someone could get high off nothing, before they've even had coffee. Maybe there was something in the air…

* * *

"Back, back, back!" Reno said excitedly, coming through the door 10 minutes later. "Guess what 'Laney? I got you coffee too!"

"Did you drain the rest of it before you came back here? Or have you found some crack again?" Elena asked, taking her coffee off him.

"Huh?" Reno said, confused. He took a long drink of his coffee and sat down to work.

"Nevermind. Does this mean you're actually going to work now?"

"Yep." Reno said grinning. "Umm… 'Laney?"

"What?"

"Can I borrow a pen?"

"I gave you one yesterday, eating a pen does not count as eating healthily, I told you that before."

"I didn't eat it…"

"So you lost it?"

"No… it's just… temporarily misplaced at this moment in time."

"Yeah?" Elena took a pen out of her drawer, "Try not to temporarily misplace this one."

* * *

"Reno, you've been back for half an hour and not once have you put that pen to paper."

"I was thinking…" Reno said vaguely.

"God… you must be ill."

"Why do we have so much paperwork? We haven't been on a mission for ages." Reno sighed.

"We went to Costa del Sol." Elena tried to argue.

"Oh wow, a day trip to the slut capital of the planet." Reno said sarcastically.

"I thought that's what you liked about Costa del Sol?"

"Nah, I'm a man of principals." Reno grinned.

"I bet you don't even know what that means." Elena said, raising her eyebrows.

"Anyway, I mean proper missions…"

"You miss the murder and torture that much do you?" Elena asked, "Personally, I think it's nice that we get to do this for a while."

"If this work is so terrific, why do they have to pay us to do it? Nah, I miss the murder and torture… it's more fun."  
"Well, if you want, I can improvise. You won't get to witness it, but you'll be very much part of it."

"Ooh, torture? I didn't know you were so kinky…" Reno said smirking.

"Reno, do you value your face highly?"

"Of course I do, it gives pleasure to the world. You on the other hand… beauty is only a light switch away."


	13. Children

**A/N: **OK this is gonna end up really long coz I've just had a wave of ideas lol. This one's not so funny, mainly setting the scene for what's to come.

And yes I know I stole the name "Drake" from the TV programme this was originally based off, but I'm too lazy to think of another one. XD

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13 - Children**

The next day, Reno wasn't feeling his best by a long shot… for more than one reason.

"'Laney, did ya have to hit me so hard?" Reno moaned. He now had a rather striking purple bruise on his right cheek.

"You deserved it." Elena said blankly. "You've been driving me mad lately."

"Not my fault." Reno said, "Maybe you're just easy to wind up at the moment, if ya know what I mean."

"I thought you said you valued your face highly?" Elena said, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm only expressing an opinion."

"Go express your opinions to someone who cares." Elena said, looking back down to her papers. "You know, I've actually finished all these."

"You sure know how you hurt my feelings." Reno said, pretending to be upset. "Oh, you can do mine then?"

"No I can't." Elena said, "You can do it yourself."

"Evil." Reno muttered.

"I'm not deaf Reno."

"Yeah, but you are evil."

"Reno, shut –"

"Laney? Does food from a vending machine count as junk food?"

"What? Yes." Elena said, slightly taken aback by the random interruption.

"Ah man, I'm so hungry." Reno sighed.

"Tseng won't let you use the vending machines anymore anyway." Elena told him.

"What? Why?" Reno asked her, shocked, "If it's because of the whole 'mass vending machine-icide' thing, that wasn't my fault."

"I don't want to know… what's wrong with the cafeteria food anyway?" Elena asked.

"The healthy stuff is gross… at least normally I can get rid of the rank taste of it by smothering it in salt and ketchup." Reno said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Reno that's disgusting. How are you still alive? And where does it all go?" Elena said with disgust, looking at Reno.

"Would you like a diagram?" Reno said, grinning.

"Not especially… Reno, why are you ignoring your cell phone?"

"What? Oh…" Reno looked down at his phone. "Ew Tseng… Yeah?" he said answering it. "Ah no… I don't wanna… I'm sure she won't want to either… you'll what? Oh for the love of… we don't even know the brat. Fine." Reno hung up his cell phone, looking in a considerably bad mood.

"What is it?" Elena asked.

"We gotta babysit. Proves this place is goin' to the dogs…"

"No it's not, we're just doing a favour, who is it?"

"Rufus Shinra's little nephew… what's his name? Stewart?"

"I don't know where you got that from, it's Drake."

"Drake… he's the one what kept tryin' to cut my hair off ain't it?" Reno asked suspiciously.

"That's right…"

"6 years old… it ain't worth bringin' somethin' like that up for 6 years."

"Don't be mean Reno." Elena said, hitting him lightly on the arm. "You gotta be on your best behaviour, especially as it's Drake… he'll go running to Rufus if you do anything…"

"Me!?" Reno said, shocked, "What about him?"

"He's the bosses nephew Reno, there's nothing you can do about it."

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, I just realised this chapter is all dialogue lol. I'll try to put less in the next one 


	14. Ice Cream

**A/N: **Yay, chapter 14. 78 reviews, I can't believe it lol. Well, enjoy! **

* * *

**

**Chapter 14 – Ice Cream**

"Hey there Drake!" Elena said enthusiastically. The young blonde merely looked at her, with a undeterminable expression on his face. He was only about a head shorter than Elena, with the same cool blonde hair as Rufus, and pale grey eyes.

"Who's looking after me?" he demanded.

"Me and Reno." Elena told him, the unnecessary brightness still in her voice.

"Him?" he pointed to Reno. "I don't like him!" he stuck out his bottom lip, always a bad sign.

"Feelin's neutral." Reno returned, making to leave the room. Elena grabbed him by the arm to stop him. "What?"

"You can't go!" she hissed. "I can't cope with him on my own."

"Fine." Reno said, rolling his eyes. "Hey, brat? What do you wanna do to stop me from killin' you for the rest of the day?"

"Reno!" Elena said, warningly. Drake however, ignored him.

"I want to go to the beach!" he said, smiling evilly.

"So you decide you wanna go to the beach today why? Why can't you go another day?" Reno said, his short temper getting the better of him.

"'Cause today is Friday." He said simply.

"So?"

"I always go to the beach on a Friday." He told Reno. Elena knew where this was going. Reno's short temper was easy to spark up, and when a 6 year old started talking down to him…

"Fine then." Reno said moodily and grabbed his jacket, "We'll go to the freakin' beach…. Stupid rich son of a bitch…" he muttered under his breath.

"Reno, I hope you're not planning on driving?" Elena said her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, why?" Reno turned around.

"Give me the keys?"

"Why?"

"I'm not letting you drive when you're in a bad mood. Especially as the thing that put you in a bad mood will be in the back seat."

"Whatever." Reno muttered throwing his car keys at her.

* * *

"Right brat, what now?" Reno said. He had cheered up significantly after he spent at least 10 minutes laughing at a dog on the sidewalk. 

"Ice-cream!" he said happily.

"Oh god no…" Elena said, putting her hand to her forehead.

"'Laney, can I…?" Reno started.

"No, you can't." Elena said sharply. "I already have to look after one kid, I'm not looking after you as well." To give Reno sugar was almost as fatal as giving a three year old a gun.

"Aw, the brat get's ice-cream." Reno pouted.

"Reno, you're supposed to be… just shut up." Elena looked at Drake who had reappeared, now holding an ice-cream. He looked at Reno and smirked; the red-head retaliated by sticking his tongue out.

"Come on." The 6 year old said. "I wanna go to the sea now."

"I'll show ya the sea." Reno said, cracking his knuckles.

"Reno, for God sake, he hasn't even done anything!"

"Look at him!" Reno said desperately. "Lordin' it up…"

"He's 6 years old! Will you just play along?" Elena said, crossing her arms.

"Fine." He sighed. "But I swear if that brat touches my hair…"


	15. Hair

**A/N: **Sorry about the long wait, I was on vacation. And sorry about the couple of swears in this chapter: Reno get's angry, Reno swears. I actually had this idea _ages _ago, but never got around to putting it in a story, and this seemed the perfect time. Well, Enjoy **

* * *

**

**Chapter 15 - Hair**

Elena slammed the door shut and sighed. She, Reno and Drake had just got back from the beach after Drake had started screaming and crying. Reno had tried to throw him off the pier.

"I hope you're happy." Elena said angrily at Reno.

"Do I look happy? I still have to spend the rest of my day with that cryin' brat." Reno said, crossing his arms and scowling.

"He wouldn't be crying if it wasn't for you." Elena said, returning the scowl.

"Elena?" Came a timid call from the doorway. She turned around to see Drake standing there, looking at Reno with a terrified look in eyes. "Is it safe to come out yet?"

"It's never safe for anyone to come out when Reno's around… but there's no pier for him to throw you off, so come on." Elena said, motioning him to enter the room.

"I swear…" Reno said, turning around on his chair. "You dare touch my hair, and I'll kill you, gut you and feed you to the ferret I adopted off the street the other day."

"You won't be able to keep your job if you do that." Drake said, sticking his tongue out.

"One thing you need to learn about me; I'm very good at making things look like an accident."

"Reno, when did you get a ferret?" Elena interrupted.

"And why are you so worried about your hair? It's not that great." Drake said, staring at him with the piercing blue eyes he had inherited from his uncle.

"How dare you!?" Reno shouted, jumping to his feet. "No one insults my hair. Even 'Laney knows that." He grabbed his EMR and walked towards the child, who was looking more and more scared as Reno came closer.

"RENO!" Elena screamed, she ran at him and tried to grab the EMR off him, but he turned so she missed. "Reno for the love of…"

Left with no other choice, and not wanting to have to explain to their boss why his nephew had been fried, Elena ran forwards and jumped on Reno's back, tackling him to the ground. Drake immediately started giggling.

"What the fuck was that for…?!" Reno said angrily, pushing Elena off him.

"Reno you idiot, you could have killed him!" Elena scolded.

"That was the point."

"Reno have a little self-restraint." Elena sighed.

"Make me."

"Give me the EMR." She said warningly.

"Make me." Reno repeated, sticking his tongue out.

"Someone please remind me who the 6 year old is here…" Elena said, then catching Reno off-guard, she grabbed the EMR off him.

"Hey! How am I supposed to kill him now?" Reno whined.

"You're not." Elena stood up and carried the EMR over to the air vents.

"What's the point in putting it in there?" Reno said, "I can get it then."  
"Because…" Elena proceeded shoving the EMR into the air vents. "I'm not leaving this office today… so I think I _might _notice if you try and get it."

"Meh, whatever." Reno sat back down on his chair, having obviously calmed down a little.

"Why do you even have your hair like that?" Drake asked, walking over to him. He was now confident Reno had no weapon to try and kill him with. Suddenly Reno grinned.

"Because, little spoilt brat, when I was little, I didn't have an uncle who owned the world and bought me whatever I wanted. In fact, I barely had enough money to stay alive… So I used to cut my own hair."

Drake looked at him questioningly. "So?"

"So…? Obviously I couldn't see the back to cut it… who'd have know it would grow so long eh?" Reno stood up and patted Drake on the shoulder before leaving the room. Drake simply stared at Elena, as though wondering what had just happened.

"I don't know." Elena said shaking her head.


	16. Time

**A/N: **Sorry it took me a little while longer to update, but anyway at least this chapters a little longer. I put more of the actual story-line in this as well, so I hope you enjoy! **

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**Chapter 16**

"So… what do ya wanna do now?" Reno asked awkwardly. He had been exceptionally nice to Drake the past hour or so, if ignoring him completely counted as being nice. Still, at least he was attempting murder again.

"What?" Drake enquired, raising his eyebrows.

"Don't you 'what' me." Reno snapped suddenly. "I only asked you a question."

"Let me ask you a question… do you think just because I'm 6, I'm dumber than you?"

"What did I do now?" Reno asked innocently.

"You obviously want something from me."

"Nah Drake, sorry to disappoint… I ain't a kiddie fiddler or nothin'"

Reno soon realised he chose the exact wrong time to say that, as Elena walked into the room, her brown eyes filled with annoyance.

"What did you just say Reno?" she asked.

"Nothing… listen kid; I'm just tryin' to be nice – seriously." Reno said. For once, his voice was not filled with the large amount of sarcasm everyone could usually hear.

"Fine, we'll see." Drake said.

"So… what do you want to do?"

"Strange kid." Reno said, shaking his head wonderingly. Drake was sat at Reno's desk, his head buried in a book.

"Why?" Elena asked. "Don't moan, at least he's not provoking you. You're difficult enough to control as it is."

"Yeah but…" Reno sighed. "Nevermind… what are we supposed to do now?"

"Maybe you should catch up on your paperwork?" Elena suggested, despite already knowing the answer.

"I seem to spend most of my life doing paperwork." Reno pouted.

"No, you spend most of your life pretending to do paperwork, so it never gets done." Elena corrected him.

"Yeah, but…" Reno stopped there.

"Yes?" Elena asked politely.

"I dunno, I wasn't expecting to get any further than that." Reno shrugged and walked out of the room. Elena shook her head.

* * *

"Where did he go?" Drake asked, putting his book down.

"Hmm?" Elena said distantly.

"Reno."

"Oh… I really don't know. I have to admit, it's rare for him to leave me alone for this long." Elena said, putting her pen down. "Hmmm, he must be up to something."

"Or not." Drake said, lifting his book up again.  
"What?" Elena asked.

"He's gone so you'll think he's up to something, and then go looking for him. It's for attention."

Elena stared at him for a second with extreme annoyance. She could now see why Reno had tried to throw him off the pier. A six-year old boy that had just met them this morning was now acting like he knew Reno better than she did. She had known the man for years, and despite the fact that he's never ceased to amaze, she liked to think she could predict some of the moves he made.

"I think you're wrong." Elena said curtly. "You don't know him…"

"I've know him for half a day, that's enough." Drake said.

"Shut up…" Elena muttered; just quiet enough for Drake not to hear. She pushed her paperwork aside and left the room in search of Reno.

* * *

Elena breathed deeply; that kid sure was annoying. She wasn't quite sure why he had ticked her off that much with his underestimation of Reno, but she knew she had to leave the room before she, too tried to murder him. Well, at least she had a little more self-restraint than Reno.

"Reno?" she saw the redhead as soon as she entered the cafeteria; he was sat drinking a coffee. Elena had notice he seemed to be drinking quite a lot of coffee lately.

"Hey." Reno said, slightly distantly.

"Are you alright?" Elena asked him concernedly.

"Yeah…" he drained his coffee.

"You know, drinking as much coffee as you are isn't exactly healthy…" Elena said awkwardly. Reno put his coffee cup down and looked up at Elena. Seeing Reno in proper light for the first time nearly made her jaw drop.

His skin was as pale as ever, possibly paler, and his eyes were fever bright. From the gaunt look on his face, he hadn't been eating much at all.

"On second thought, keep the coffee… listen, are you sure you don't want to go back on this bet? I won't make you do the paperwork or anything."

"No. I'm gonna win it." Reno said triumphantly. "How long have I got left?"

"One week one day." Elena told him. She saw his face drop.

"Wow. Time is goin' so slow." He said, looking at his coffee cup sadly.

"Sure you won't give it up?" Elena asked hopefully.

"No chance." He smirked. "I know your game… but seriously, you know you wanna come on a date with me really."

"At this rate, there won't be anything left to date." Elena muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, but I'm being serious, you should think about giving this one up…" she walked away from the redhead, sighing. "Damn you and your stubbornness, Reno…"


	17. Women

**A/N: **Ok, first off, I have to thank each and everyone of you. hugs you all I have hit 122 reviews, which is an amazing achievment for me, my last record being 57. Of course now I feel like I'm under more pressure to write well coz the last thing I would want is the lose any reviewers. So let me know what you think , and any ideas/requests are very welcome.

Enjoy

**

* * *

Chapter 17 - Women**

"Asleep?" Reno looked at his watch. "It's only 7:30, what a wuss."

"Reno, he's 6 years old. And besides you fall asleep earlier than this usually."

"Well, I have to get my energy for this ever-demanding job from somewhere." Reno smirked. Elena couldn't stop herself from laughing.

The two of them stared at the blonde child, asleep in Reno's chair. It was only half an hour until his mother had to come and pick him up. Elena sighed, she had managed a whole day with Reno and Drake, avoiding witnessing murder – as close as it was.

"Don't look so relieved 'Laney. It ain't over yet." Reno said warningly.

"I know… we still have half an hour left." She replied.

"That's not what I meant. You've never met his charmin' mother have you?" She smiled grimly.

"No… why?"

"Imagine a female Rufus, make her a single mother, and make her have the hots for me." Reno said cockily.  
"Shut up Reno. According to you, anything of the female gender has the hots for you –and sometimes other genders."

"Don't be stupid 'Laney, those weird sexually confused guys only like other guys who look like women." Reno said, shocked. Elena smiled at him. "What the fu-!"

Reno stopped abruptly as Drake began to stir.

"You just swore." He said, looking at Reno.

"No, I half swore… and you ain't gonna repeat it. You're only s'posed to learn to swear when you learn to drive."

Drake shook his head and leaned back against the chair, his eyes tightly closed. Reno sighed.

"Reno, what kind of a statement was that?" Elena asked.

"What? I swear; I drive." Reno said.

"That doesn't mean you learned to drive. 'Cause if you had, you wouldn't be so suicidal behind the steering wheel… and what are you doing?" Elena watched as Reno stood up reaching for the air vents. "You leave that EMR alone; Tseng was an idiot to let you have it in the first place."

"Aw, c'mon 'Laney. Just a little prod..." Reno said, pulling the EMR out of the air vents. "While he's asleep?"

"No, Reno. Can't you just resist these stupid murder urges for 25 more minutes?" Elena said angrily.

"I will on one condition…" Reno said grinning slyly.

"What?" Elena sighed.

"You let me keep the EMR."

"Reno." It was Elena's turn to smirk. "It doesn't make any difference if I say no. If I don't let you have it, you won't have anything to kill him with anyway."

"My bare hands." Reno said, making strangling gestures with his pale hands. There was a fair amount on psychosis in his aquamarine eyes, so Elena wasn't actually sure if he was being serious or not.

"Fine. Keep the damn EMR." Elena said, crossing her arms.

"Ha, you're too easy 'Lena." Reno said, exiting the room.

* * *

At bang on 8 o'clock, Elena's office door opened and Reno entered, looking irritable, followed by a middle-aged woman with blonde hair. 

"Oh, hello." Elena said, standing up.

"Hello." She replied curtly. She had a very snobbish voice.

"Drake?" Elena shook the boy to wake him up. He opened his eyes and looked over to his mother. "Time to go."

"Finally." He said, jumping off Reno's chair. "Anymore time with that idiot and I might turn as stupid as he is."

"What, Reno?" she said, suddenly gaining the air of a love struck teenager. "Don't be silly dear."

"What?" Elena said, suddenly loosing herself.

"Reno's lovely…" she smiled at Reno, almost sickeningly sweetly.

"What the hell…?" Elena muttered, looking Reno who shook his head. For once, Reno hadn't been lying; she was really smitten for him. The only wrong thing about that was that she was probably twice his age.

"Well, bye Reno." Drake's mother kissed Reno lightly on the cheek, causing him to roll his eyes. "Come on Drake…" She took her son by the hand and exited the building.

"Wow, Reno…" Elena said, utterly stunned. Then she suddenly burst out laughing. "Looks like Rufus' sisters got herself a toy-boy."

"'Lena, that's disgusting." Reno said, looking at her, slightly upset.

"Aw, I'm sorry." She said, finally stopping laughing. "You have to admit though, it is pretty funny."

"I told you she did, and you didn't believe me." Reno said, smirking. "You should know yourself 'Laney: anything remotely woman-like can't resist me."


	18. Traffic

**A/N: **Ok, so this chapter may be longer, but I don't know... it seems a bit gap-ish to me. Well anyway, Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 18 – Traffic**

"I seriously hope…" Reno said, dropping heavily down on his chair, "That we never have to do that again."

"Don't count on it." Elena said warily. "You know what Rufus is like – he's always asking favours from us."

"Yeah well; I have to baby-sit that stupid brat again, there will be murders around the company. And I don't care who it is." Reno said, closing his eyes.  
"Reno? You know, we were actually supposed to go four hours ago." Elena said innocently.

"What? What the crap? It's 10 past 8… Wait a second, why did we have to stay four hours longer to look after _him_?" Reno said, raising his voice.

"Calm down, Reno." Elena said in an attempt to soothe him. "Let's just go home, and forget it."

"No I won't fuckin' forget it! In fact, I want fuckin' triple over-time!" Reno said angrily.

"Reno! Seriously, did you not realise? It wasn't even that bad…"

"Not that bad, I lost my EMR to _you_, I nearly got my hair cut off, and I nearly got _arrested _for tryin' to throw the damn kid of a fuckin' pier."

"Reno, what the hell is wrong with you?" Elena asked. She wasn't actually quite sure what Reno had just said, because he had the annoying habit of talking extremely quickly when he was angry. She watched the redhead as he took a shaky breath.

"Let's go." He said suddenly.

"That's what I've just…" Elena sighed, "Nevermind."

* * *

By the time the two of them got back to Elena's apartment, Reno was beat. He had stopped talking at all, and sat down heavily on Elena's couch, his eyes shut.

"Reno?" Elena said unsurely. The redhead opened one aqua eye slowly.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing…"

He was asleep. 5 minutes back and he was asleep. Elena stared at him, somehow hoping that he would wake up without her trying.

"Reno?" she nudged him in the ribs, but received no response. "Wake up!" she almost shouted. Still no response.

Sighing, Elena stood up and put one hand under Reno's shoulders, the other where his knee-joints were, and lifted him. He was surprisingly heavy, but she managed to haul him to her spare room and dump him on the bed. She couldn't help but smile grimly as she looked at him; he was so stubborn, determined to win the bet, yet he couldn't see the damage he was doing to himself.

* * *

Elena awoke, hearing a phone going off somewhere in the house. Then, there was suddenly a loud crash, and all was silent. She stayed still for a minute, trying to place what had just happened, when suddenly, her cell phone sitting on her bedside table started ringing.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hello, Elena." Came Tseng's reply. "I need the both of you to come into work as soon as possible. You have a very unfortunate… uh, mission. And I'm sorry, but expect Reno to be in a bad mood."

"Why?"

"You'll see when you find out what the mission is. And tell Reno that his cell phone is not covered on the insurance please."

"O..k." Elena said slowly. "Bye."

She quickly pulled on her clothes, and made her way to Reno's room.

"Reno?" she opened the door, greeted by the sight of a very dented cell phone sitting on the floor by the door. She suddenly understood what Tseng had meant. "Wake up. We have to go." She said loudly.

"Go where…?" came a drowsy response from the mound of bed clothes.

"Work. Tseng just phoned… as you probably already know." Elena said, eying the cell phone.

"Fuck sake… does that guy not sleep?" Reno moaned.

"You have been asleep for… 12 hours." Elena said, looking at her watch.

"Is that it?" Reno sat up, rubbing his eyes. His red hair was even messier than usual and he still somehow looked beat. "Get lost then." He said rudely.

"Huh?"

"I know how much you wanna see me naked 'Laney, but I'd rather get changed in peace." He smirked, fishing through a pile of clothes and pulled out a clean white shirt. Elena smiled and walked out.

"Ready?" Reno said, coming through into the living room 5 minutes later. Elena stared at him; it was quite amazing how he had managed to make a clean white shirt look messy in only 5 minutes. "C'mon then." He said, fingering his keys.

"You're driving?" Elena asked.

"Yes."

Elena shook her head, not bothering to argue with him. Admittedly, there was no real reason why Reno shouldn't drive, but she somehow didn't feel safe in his hands. The two of them headed outside, towards the black car parked on the drive. Reno grinned and plopped down in the drivers seat, putting his keys in the ignition as Elena sat down warily in the passenger side.

* * *

"Fuckin' Sunday drivers…" Reno ranted. This was the fifth time they had been slowed by traffic. Reno cursed as another car pulled out in front of him.

"Reno, it's not Sunday." Elena said bluntly.

"Mooove…" Reno whined at no one in particular. "I'm trying to speed."

Elena was starting to think these slower drivers were a good thing, especially if it saved her body from having to endure forces similar to those on a roller coaster.

Eventually, they made it there, despite Elena being more than a little shook up. She had spent about 5 minutes trying to talk Reno out of over-taking the traffic by driving down the side-walk. Evidently, the concept of mowing down a few pedestrians made it more appealing for him.

The two of them headed straight for Tseng's office, to find out what the mission was. Elena's heart was beating faster all the time; from what Tseng had said, Reno was not going to like this mission one bit. And mission with a pissed-off Reno were never fun.

"Ah, you made it." Tseng said as the two of them entered his office. "I'll get straight down to it --"

He was interrupted by Reno yawning quite dramatically.

"Am I boring you Reno?" Tseng asked politely.

"No, sir." Reno shook his head. "Your voice has a dull soothing quality I find quite relaxing." He smirked.

"Well, anyway… Rufus has been invited to a family… get-together. I don't know what it is exactly but… you two will have to escort Rufus there and back, keeping guard at all times."

"What's the catch then?" Elena asked. She couldn't see why Reno would hate that mission so much; they had done that kind of thing enough after all.

"The catch… is that you also have to escort his sister and nephew."


	19. Paint

**A/N: **I know this chapter is a bit random and has nothing to do with anything, but I sat down to write one day and this is what happened lol. So yeah, back to the real plot next chapter

Enjoy**

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**Chapter 1 – Paint**

A day working with Reno was a hard one at best. But working with Reno the day before he had to act as body guard for a child he had previously tried to kill was a different matter. Elena sighed and put her head in her hands as the redhead flew through her office door, breathing heavily.

"Quick-Laney-hide-me-quick!" he said inhumanly fast.

"Excuse me?" she said politely. Reno looked around her office, searching for a hiding place.

"A-hah!" he said, diving under her desk. Elena sighed.

"What an original hiding place, Reno." She said quietly. Reno put his fingers to his lips as the office door opened again, a little more subtly this time, and Tseng walked in.

"Where is he?" his voice was shaking with anger. Elena stared at him; noticing traight away that his usually shimmering black shoes were covered in blood red paint. No need to even ask who was responsible for that…

"I…I d-don't know sir." Elena stuttered. _Oh my… did I just say that? I just stuck up for Reno?_

Tseng sighed and left the room. Elena stared at the door, still unsure about what she had just said.

"Aww, thanks Laney." Reno's cocky voice came from below her. "I knew you loved me…all this time and you've been denying it…"

Elena scowled and thrust her foot forwards until it collided hard with whatever of Reno's body parts was nearest.

"Ow!" Reno cried out extremely loudly, "You sure know where to kick a man, don't ya?"

At that, the office door opened again and a not-so-happy looking Tseng walked in.

"Alright, Reno. Come out, I heard you. NOW!"

Elena stood up and Reno crawled out from under the desk.

"Alright boss-man, you win."

"Reno, go to my office now, and clean it up. I don't care how long it takes; you don't leave until it's clean." Tseng told him. Elena smiled to herself. At least the idiot was getting what he deserved, whatever he did…

"Elena?" Tseng continued. Elena smiled at her boss, "You helped him out…so go and help him out again."

* * *

"Reno, how can anyone be so stupid?" Elena was finding it harder to keep her temper with the redhead when she looked around Tseng's office. The same red paint that was on Tseng's shoes was all over his office; the walls, floor, and somehow, the ceiling. Elena walked forward and stared at her red surroundings. Reno stood watching her with a sheepish grin on his face.  
"Paint!?" Elena shouted. "Reno!"

"It wasn't my fault." Reno grimaced slightly at Elena's raised voice. "The can… exploded…"

"Exploded?" Elena repeated blankly. "What really happened?"

"Well… there's this guy in soldier who has his head stuck right up his own ass, and he's always makin' rude comments about how bright my hair is… So I thought I'd show him just how cool it was to stand out from the crowd…"

"I'll never understand your logic Reno." Elena sighed. "Now where's the rest of the paint?"

Reno pointed to a large red can in the corner of the room, pouting slightly.

"Give me it." She said. She wasn't shouting, but the evil glare she was showing Reno told him not to mess with her. He passed her his can of paint, looking upset.

"That cost me 50 gil." He mumbled.

"Yeah? And they'll cost you your life if I see any of them again. If I find any more of this… I will castrate you."

"Gee, someone's PMSing today…forget your tablets?" Reno said, smirking. Of course if he had thought about what he said before saying it, it would have saved him a lot of pain…

"Hey…" Reno said, dropping on a chair in the cafeteria next to his best friend.

"What's eating you?" Rude said, watching Reno nurse his bruised eye.

"Elena's hormones…"

"Oh…"

A long and awkward silence followed until, surprisingly, Rude broke it.

"That was pretty stupid, you know Reno." He said, amused.

"Yeah, tell me about it…" Reno said miserably.

"Red paint… if you'd have used green or something it's less obvious that it's you."

"What?" Reno said, shocked. Rude didn't reply, just half smiled at Reno and left the table.


	20. Drive

**A/N: **A pretty short update, but I felt bad for leaving it so long I'm struggling my way through two weeks of exams at the moment; I'm half way there

Enjoy**

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**Chapter 20 – Drive**

"When you're _quite _finished…" Rufus said dramatically. "I'd like to go now."

"S-sorry sir." Reno said, putting his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. A soldier had just passed them with suspiciously bright red hair.

"And I'll get you to explain to me later why one of my soldiers has bright red hair…" Rufus said, rolling his eyes.

"He envied me sir…" Reno said laughing. Elena looked sideways at him, also struggling not to laugh, but she wasn't even quite sure why she found it so funny.

"Where is this meeting sir?" Elena asked, ignoring Reno.

"Wutai." Rufus told her blankly.

"Oh, so it's a 'copter job then?" Reno asked happily.  
"Yes. Thankfully _you _won't be piloting." Rufus said.

"Why the hell do we need to come then?" Reno demanded.

"Because we will need to be escorted quite a way to the place we have to be. It's out of the way…"

"So I get to drive?" Reno's eyes lit up.

"Unfortunately, yes. As Elena doesn't have a license."

"Sweet." Reno exclaimed. "So when we gotta pick up that old ha… I mean, your sister?"

"Now." Rufus said. "And her name is Dorothy. Let's go." He left the room, leaving Reno staring blankly.

"Rufus and Dorothy, eh? What were their parents on I wonder…" he muttered before following after Rufus, Elena at his heels.

* * *

Reno seemed to be being on his best behaviour on the journey to Rufus' sister's house. He had only skipped 3 red lights, and wasn't driving double the speed limit like he usually did.

"Before we get to my sisters house, I should tell you…" Rufus said from the back seat. "Don't _ever _call her Dot, Dotty or anything like that. I know what you're like for shortening names, Reno. Only Dorothy."

"Yes, sir." Reno said, taking his hand on the steering wheel of the car and saluting mockingly. Rufus rolled his eyes.

"Do not try anything." Rufus said warningly to Reno as they pulled up to pick up the mother and son.

"I think you should be telling her that…" Reno muttered as he pulled the handbrake on.

"Hello Rufus… Reno." Dorothy said happily as her and her son climbed into the back of the car.

"Hey Dot… orothy…" Reno said awkwardly. Elena sniggered and looked behind her as Dorothy gazed at the redhead with a confused look in her blue eyes.

"He's got a speech impairment." Elena said nodding.

"I never noticed that before…"

"It gets worse everyday, right Reno?" Elena looked at the redhead.

"Yeah." Reno said, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. He could see Rufus in the mirror glaring at him. "Anyway…"

He took the handbrake off the car and stepped too quickly on the accelerator, causing everyone to lurch forwards. Reno smirked to himself.

"So… how's my favourite 6 year old, unpleasant child?" Reno asked happily, looking at the blonde boy in the mirror. Drake scowled.

"I think you broke my ribs." He said blankly.

"Don't know what ya talking about." Reno said. He grinned and pushed harder on the accelerator.


	21. Surprise

**A/N: **lol, I struggled with this for a while, then went back to it later and typed so much

Enjoy **

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**Chapter 21 – Surprise**

"I hate travelling." Reno said quietly. He sat, along with Rufus, Dorothy, Drake and Elena in the back of the helicopter, looking a sickly greenish color.

"Reno…" Elena said, looking at him strangely. "You pilot a helicopter, and you just put us all through hell by driving like an imbecile, how can you say you hate travelling?"

"I dunno…" Reno shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it's different when you're actually driving… at least you're doing something…"

Elena crossed her arms and smiled slyly. "You've been a passenger in a helicopter before, and you were fine." She said smugly. "I think it's more likely you've just made yourself sick by driving like a mindless idiot."

"I don't like you." Reno said suddenly, frowning. "In fact, it's even more likely that I'm just genuinely sick 'cause of this stupid bet."

"Stupid bet?" Elena said, still smiling. "You weren't saying that when you were trying to convince me you wanted to carry on with it..."

"Excuse me?" Rufus interrupted, raising his eyebrows. "What bet?"

"Oh…" Elena blushed. "Nothing sir."

"Does this bet have anything to do with why Reno's been looking like a corpse for the past week?" Rufus asked.

"What in the hell have I done?" Reno said angrily.

Rufus smirked at him, not saying a word. Elena looked slightly worried at the glare that Reno was giving him.

"That reminds me… do you know what date it is?" Rufus said, still smirking.

"Oh crap… whose birthday have I forgotten?" Reno said running his hand through is matted hair.

"None." Rufus said sighing. "It's October the 30th today Reno."

Reno paused for a minute, quite clearly deep in thought. Elena nearly laughed as she watch the concentration on his face.

"Oh, no." Reno said warily. "I am _not _doin' it!" he narrowed his eyes. "You can't make me."

"I beg to differ…" Rufus said curtly.

Elena frowned, trying to work out what they were talking about. What did Reno hate that happened somewhere near October the 30th? Then she smiled as she remembered. Physicals.

"What the hell you smilin' at?" Reno said to Elena harshly. "And I'm serious, I'm not doin' it."

"Reno…" Rufus said warningly. Elena glanced at Dorothy and Drake, who looked half amused, half disgusted at Reno.

"You'll have to drag me kickin' and screamin' outta my office." Reno said victoriously.

"Or… I could just cut your pay."

"I hate you." Reno pouted.

"Elena?" Rufus turned to Elena, his tone much lighter, "Are you ok with a physical on November the 1st?"

"Yes sir-"

"NO!" Reno said in a whiny voice.

"Reno for God's sake, stop acting like a three-year-old and get over it. I know your body can't be in good condition but-"

"Uh, excuse me?" Reno said, looking at Elena expectantly.

"What? Let's face it; you eat rubbish, you don't exercise, you drink, and how can anyone's body be in good condition when said person's main hobby is playing with explosives?" Elena said.

Reno looked at her angrily, but Elena decided to make the most of it. She knew Reno would never try anything in front of Rufus Shinra, but as she looked into his furious aqua eyes, she began to become unsure.

"You lie." Reno said, pouting again. "I am eating properly…"  
"You're not eating at all…" Elena muttered.

"And I'm a Turk, that's enough exercise for anyone's body." Reno said, then he smirked. "But of course, even if someone _does _treat their body good, it doesn't necessarily show, does it?"

"What's that meant to mean?" Elena said. It was her turn to be angry. How did Reno always manage to turn an argument around to insult her?"

"Nothin'…" Reno said innocently. "Face it though; live healthily, exercise regularly, die anyway. Better to live fast, die young and leave a good-lookin' corpse behind."

"Whatever you say…" Elena muttered, knowing she had been beaten. Suddenly the helicopter jolted slightly, telling them they had landed.

"About time…" Rufus muttered. "And you even think about moaning as much on the way back Reno, and I'll send you on a day-trip to Hojo's lab as soon as we get back."


	22. Wondering

**A/N: **Firstly, I'm sorry that this chapter is so short; it's only just over 500 words D: It's only a filler chapter though, that's why.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, it turns out I'm an idiot. I don't know how many days there are in October, even though the day I forgot about is one of my favourite holidays. Ahh how could I forget about October 31st? Ah well, Tseng will somehow decide to move the physicals up one day, for some random reason, so I don't have to do another filler chapter.

Enjoy

**

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Chapter 22 - Wondering**

"Why?" Reno said in a whiny voice. "What's the actual point?"

"Reno, shut up." Elena sighed, turning a page in the book she was reading. They had finished their mission and returned to Elena's apartment. They had only been there about 5 minutes when he decided it was safe to start moaning again.

"Seriously though." Reno said, his voice returning to normal. "Why do we have them?"

"So Tseng can check we're still fit and well enough to be Turks probably." Elena said, turning the page again. "I don't know Reno, why don't you ask him?"

"'Cause he's got his head shoved too far up his ass to even listen to me. He'll think I'm moaning…" Reno said, pouting.

"That's probably because…" Elena said, finally giving up and putting her book down. "…The majority of the time you are moaning."

"Am not." Reno said, giving Elena the best puppy-dog eye look he could. "I'll pay ya to get Tseng to let me off the physical." He said, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"What the hell am I supposed to do about it?" Elena said, shocked.

"Well…" Reno mouth formed a smirk. "Ya know that stationary cupboard next to your office… the great thing about it, is it has a lock on it, so if you're inside and you don't want anyone to get in…"

"Shut it Reno." Elena said, thinking fast. She knew exactly where that brilliant idea was going.

"You know you love it..." Reno grinned. Elena resisting the temptation to slap him and resorted to giving a swift look at her middle finger."

"Next time you wave at me, kindly use more than one finger." Reno said smiling.

"Piss off Reno." Elena said angrily.

"Rebel." Reno said tauntingly, "So tell me 'Laney, what's it like livin' on the wild side?

Elena chose to ingore him, and picked up her book again, only for Reno to instantly start whining.

"Just get over it." Elena said before he could start properly. "The physical lasts 10 minutes tops. And there can't be anything _that _badly wrong with you…"

"There's nothing wrong with me…" Reno muttered.

"So what's so bad about it?" Elena said encouragingly. "Besides, at least it's a physical examination and not a mental one…" she added quietly.

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Reno said, crossing his arms.

"Oh, nothing." Elena said casually. "Anyway… I'm going to bed. Night."

"Goodnight…" Reno said, still sounding slightly put out.

Elena had to wonder though. What was Reno really worried about with this physical? She knew he had always hated them, but that was just the general idea of being pulled about and tested over and over for everything that's possible to be wrong with a human. Tseng had loosened the rules on the physicals now though, and it was just about general health. Even though Reno wasn't exactly the healthiest of people, he still managed to pass it, just because of his surprising physical capability, and general durability of his body. The only thing that had really changed since the last physical was their recent bet, but surely that wouldn't do him any harm to start eating healthily? Or did he know that he was feeling worse and worse each day since the bet began, and the doctor examining him would somehow force him to start eating 'normally' again, making him lose their bet?


	23. TV

**A/N: PLEASE READ!!!**

You guys have no idea how long this chapter took me to write. I started it before Christmas. The problem is, I'm getting writers block for humour 

Soooo, I need as much help as I can get from you guys. From the amount of reviews I have, I'm guessing you're pretty much enjoying this story, so I would hate to have to stop writing it. So, please please PLEASE PM me, with ANY ideas or requests that you have for this story; it can be anything, it doesn't even have to relate to the initial plot. Basically, if no one PMs me, I might end up having to stop writing this story.

Well anyway. Enjoy

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 23 - TV**

"…I know!" Elena said suddenly. "You're a woman aren't you?"

"Shut up." Reno said moodily. Elena had been trying to work out why he hated physicals so much. All attempts so far had been fruitless.

"Reno?" came a voice from their left. A short, blonde woman was standing there; the doctor. "Wait a minute… I think you've been cancelled."

"What?" Reno said, dumbstruck.

"Yeah…" the doctor said, checking her clipboard. "You have."

"I don't have to have a physical?" Reno said, grinning.

"No, neither do you, Elena."

"It's really not that fantastic, Reno… it just means that whatever's wrong with you, you'll have to put up with for another year." Elena said dully.

"There's nothin' wrong with me." Reno told her happily. "And I don't need a piece of paper to prove it to Tseng this year."

"I think the piece of paper is getting so it's not quite enough…" Elena said sarcastically. "Anyway, aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Probably. I dunno…" Reno muttered, sitting down and turning the television on.

"I think you are… and I think you should go before Tseng shoves that EMR somewhere you won't like…"

"How do you know I won't like it?" Reno asked, grinning perversely.

"Reno!" Elena smacked him upside the head with her book. "That's disgusting..."

"Nah…" Reno grabbed the book off her. "You love it…"

"Shut your mouth… and go to work."

Reno sighed and grabbed his phone. He dialled a number and put the phone to his ear.

"Tseng? Am I meant to be working today?" he said lazily. He waited a couple of seconds for a reply. "Nah, it was cancelled. Yeah so I wouldn't be there anyway… cool." He hung up.

"No work for me today." Reno said happily, throwing his cell phone somewhere to his left.

"You should really be more careful with that cell phone…" Elena said raising an eyebrow.

"Meh, I didn't pay for it." Reno said carelessly. "But yeah, Tseng said I don't have to go 'cause he thought I was havin' a physical, so he ain't got any work planned for me."  
Elena sighed. "I didn't hear a word you said, but yeah, ok." She said. For some reason, Reno always started talking at a hundred mile an hour rate when he was excited about something.

"Cool." Reno walked over to the TV and switched it on.

"Oh no, you're not watching TV…" Elena said, grabbing the remote. "I know the rubbish you watch."

"What? I wasn't gonna watch any porn or anything…" Reno smirked. "Although I would hope you didn't have any porn channels on here."

"No I don't." Elena smacked his head lightly with the remote. "And I hope that even you would be above that."

"You better keep hopin' then." Reno grinned and slouched down on the couch.

* * *

"Don't you wish there was a switch to turn up the intelligence on the TV?" Elena said, flicking through the channels.

"Yeah…" Reno agreed unconsciously. "There's a button marked 'brightness' but that doesn't work…"

Elena laughed. "You're an idiot." She flicked the channel again and a random farming programme came on. It showed a man milking a cow and talking to someone, but Elena wasn't listening, she was more interested in what Reno had to say.

"That's disgustin'…" He said. Elena was shocked at the look on his face. He actually looked genuinely disgusted,

"It's only milk…" Elena said, wondering what was going through Reno's head.

"Yeah but think about it… when man discovered milk came from a cow, what did he think he was doin'?"

"Reno? Is it necessary for you to have such a sick perverted mind? Even animals…" Elena looked even more disgusted than Reno had.

Reno laughed. "Ha, you thought I was bein' serious? I'm only messin' with ya."

"Yes, I know… that's the problem. You can't come up with normal jokes can you?"

"I got worse ones than that… how about…" Reno said, grinning mischievously.

"Reno?"

"Yes?" He carried on grinning.

"Shut up." Elena said for what felt like the hundredth time that day. What made her wonder though, was that before Reno started eating healthily, she didn't have to tell him to shut up as often as much as she did now. So this diet was going to end up affecting him more than she thought.

She could handle things as they were, but if they got any worse… she would have to do whatever she could to make Reno start eating normally again.


	24. Alcohol

**A/N: **I managed it! I got a chapter out. This one was a lot easier to write, thanks to me re-reading my reviews for encouragement. And of course, thanks to Le Pecore Nere for helping me out with my material for writing.

Enjoy**

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**

**Chapter 24 - Alcohol**

"Reno?"

"What?!"

"Calm down…" Elena muttered. Reno had gotten up only 10 minutes ago to discover that Elena had a vacation and he didn't, resulting in an extremely bad mood.

"Are you going to work now?" Elena asked him.

"Yeah, why?" Reno said, grabbing his jacket.

"I want you to pick up a few groceries for me on the way back." She told him, handing him a piece of paper.

"Why the hell can't you do it?" Reno said, snatching the piece of paper.

"Because, I don't feel like it… and considering I was kind enough to let you stay at my house in the first place, I think it's the least you can do." Elena said smugly.

"What in the hell is a ker… kar…" Reno said angrily, trying to read the list. Elena took it off him.

"That says carrots." She told him, defeated. "Can you manage this or do you need an expert in fruit and vegetables to come with you? I know how hard it is to recognize carrots…"

"Shut it. I'm not an idiot." Reno pouted putting the list in his pocket.

"Really? Because I remember someone telling me that when you missed bus number 44, you took number 22 twice instead." Elena said grinning.

"That wasn't true… that was that bald bastard makin' fun of me." Reno said sadly. Elena felt almost sorry for him as he looked down at her, his eyes wide with self-pity.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Elena said, although she couldn't quite stop herself from smiling. "Now go, before you're…" she looked at her watch. "… any later than usual."

* * *

Without Reno to annoy her, for some reason time seemed to creep by impossibly slow. It was a relief when 5 o'clock came by, and Elena knew Reno would be back soon. 

But when he didn't return by 7 o'clock, she began to get slightly worried. It was dark outside, and she knew it wouldn't take him that long to get groceries. But then, there was what Reno usually did after work, which was going to the nearest bar. Surely even Reno had worked out that alcohol wasn't healthy…

Elena jumped when her cell phone began to ring. Gathering her nerves, she picked it up and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, 'Laney." came Reno's confident, unusually cheerful reply.

"Where are you, Reno?" she asked him.

"Oh, um, I can't get your stuff for you. Tseng made me stay late to finish some paperwork." Reno said, his voice suddenly going quieter.

"Reno? The caller ID says you're calling from the kitchen." Elena turned around. "In fact, I can see you."

"Oh…" Elena watched as Reno moved away from the door, so she could no longer see his tell-tale red hair. "Can you see me now?"

"No…"

"Right. Now I'm at work."

Elena sighed and hung up the phone. "Reno!" she yelled towards the kitchen. "Get the hell in here!"

"Ha ha. I betcha almost feel for it." Reno said, walking into the living room. There was a slight slur in his voice which raised her suspicions from earlier again.

"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere." Reno said, staring at her blankly as he sat next to her.

"You've been to a bar haven't you?" Elena said, smiling smugly. She could smell alcohol.

"No…" Reno replied, looking at the ceiling. "Ha ha."

"Yes you have. You're drunk." Elena said, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah… but… I'll be sober tomorrow, you'll always be ugly." Reno said, giggling.

"Ha ha, very funny." Elena said sarcastically, crossing her arms. She couldn't really complain; she did want entertainment after all.

"You know, people that say 'ha ha, very funny' are the people that have no sense of humour 'cause you can't think of a witty retort."

"I envy your logic; now stop thinking of big words before you hurt yourself." Elena said.

"Just 'cause…" Reno stared at her for a second, his eyes narrowed. Elena never found out what 'the reason' was, as Reno's head dropped to the back of the sofa, and his eyes dropped shut. Elena sighed, leaving Reno to sleep off whatever he had drunk.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, I know the odds of a drunk Reno getting into Elena's kitchen without her hearing him are very slim, but I don't care much. lol 


	25. Plans

**A/N: **Sorry, this chapter's a little short. Sorry guy's but this story is getting pretty close to the end, only a couple more chapters to go : ( I may come back to it though, if I come up with another idea that I can't make into a whole new story, so still keep your eyes on this.

Oh yeah, and as for Reno's little 'speech' it's supposed to be difficult to understand, thats not me being a terrible writer.

And another thing, I had someone mention it, so I'll put it now:

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Reno, Elena or the Turks, Family Guy, or Drake and Josh**

Enjoy**

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**Chapter 25 - Plans**

Waiting for Reno to wake up had to be the most boring thing ever. Elena sat and watched him, even thought he'd already been asleep for over 13 hours.

"Reno?" she nudged him. She knew she would regret waking him up, but that was a price she was willing to pay.

"What?" came an unexpected reply. Elena stared at him, shocked. He opened his eyes and sat up, completely oblivious to Elena gaping at him. "You gotta problem?"

"Not at all." Elena said, shaking her head. "Don't you have a headache?"

"What the hell do you think?" Reno said. He opened a drawer next to him and pulled out some painkillers. He tipped two in his hands and swallowed them dry.

"Come on." Elena said, standing up. "We're gonna be late for work."

"I thought you was on vacation?" Reno enquired.

"I was… I only had two days though." She told him. "And will you please learn to speak properly?"

"Shut it." Reno said, making his way to the bathroom. "You might as well go."

"See you later… don't be too late."

* * *

At least two hours later, Reno wandered into Elena's office, clutching a cup of something, probably coffee, and looking slightly bewildered.  
"What the hell took you so long?" Elena demanded. "Tseng was asking about you." 

Reno didn't reply. He simply looked at Elena and drained his drink. Elena stared at him, and was disgusted to realize that he hadn't changed his clothes.

"Reno, you took two hours, and you didn't even put on some clean clothes?"

"I have reason not to." Reno said knowledgably. "Clean clothes help to raise the confidence level, which helps self esteem, which helps you win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money, which leads to immense spending, which leads to stress, which causes a heart attack at the age of 31 and puts you in a coma for 10 years while you lose all your money, and you start at the beginning again."

Elena stared at Reno blankly. "I don't think that even deserves a response… no wait, it does. Are you on drugs?"

"Nope. I tried sniffing coke once but the ice-cubes got stuck." Reno said, smirking.

"I'll warn you now, don't waste your energy on clever thoughts today." Elena said, smiling at Reno.

"Wha... why?" Reno said, looking shocked.

"I thought, since you're eating healthily, we may as well take it all the way."

Reno looked at her sceptically. "What's the s'posed to mean?"

"You'll see, just make sure you're ready to leave on time." Elena grinned at him. "Well then, I think you should be catching up on your paperwork, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Reno took the pen he had borrowed from Elena the week before and sat down.

* * *

Elena was shocked. Reno had been sitting for 10 minutes and had not said a word. Perhaps he was trying to work out what Elena had meant. The blonde smiled to herself; he wasn't going to like this at all, but there was nothing he could do to get out of it. 

"What's the date?" Reno asked suddenly.

"Um… November 3rd." Elena said, looking at him. He seemed to be working something out in his head.

"I knew it!" he cried suddenly. He suddenly looked at excited as a child at Christmas. "I knew there was a reason I was happy this morning!"

"Oh yeah?" Elena said dully. Anything that made Reno happy couldn't be good.

"Yeah. I only have two days left." He grinned.

"Two days?" Elena narrowed her eyes.

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter, you know that 'Laney?"

Oh yeah, the bet…" Elena smiled. "You know, it's not too late for the pressure of the whole thing to hit you… you could still lose."

"Yeah, but it's not gonna get any harder than this now…" Reno sighed, sitting down and putting his feet on Elena's desk.

"Just you wait…" Elena said deviously.


	26. Keys

**A/N: **Thank you so much guys, I now have over 200 reviews and 10,000 hits for this story - it's the first story I've written to have done so well. I'll be sad when I've finished lol

Enjoy**

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**Chapter 26 - Keys**

Elena sighed and looked at her watch. She figured she may as well wait for Reno after work, but decided to wait outside. 10 minutes of waiting, and Reno finally turned up.

"What took you so long?" Elena demanded. "I wouldn't pin you down as the kind of person who'd stay late at work… you get lost?"  
"Yeah sure…" Reno said distractedly.

"You okay?" Elena asked.

"'Laney? What email does Tseng use?"

"MSN hotmail." Elena answered promptly. "Why?" she was suspicious as the smirk that had suddenly formed on his face.

"No reason." Reno said, ridding himself of the smug look and replacing it with an innocent grin. "So, what's the plan?"

"We're going back to my place." Elena said. "And then, you're going to do some exercise."

"Exercise?" Reno said. Elena laughed at the shocked look on Reno's face.

"Come on. You did a whole lot of endurance training when you entered the Turks." Elena argued.

"Yeah, that was a long time ago. It's been years since I've done anythin' like that." Reno said, looking slightly annoyed.

"You're a Turk for pity's sake. How unfit can you be? Besides, I've seen you sprint loads of times. You're really fast."

"Yeah but, chances are you ain't gonna make me run. You're gonna make me do something really gay."

"Nope. We're going jogging." Elena said happily.

"Uh, 'we'?" Reno said sceptically.

"Yes. I'm coming too. Is that a problem?"

"Nah, 'part from you'll slow me down." Reno grinned. "You know that you will."

"I won't." Elena said, frowning. "Now c'mon."

"Wait." Reno said suddenly, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He looked at it, frowned, and then put it back in his pocket.

"What?" Elena asked curiously.

"Nothing." The red-head replied innocently. There was a guilty glint in his aqua eyes that told Elena he was lying. Her suspicions were confirmed when her own cell phone began to ring a couple of seconds later.

"Hello?"

"Elena?" A very angry sounding Tseng replied. "Tell Reno not to ignore me, and asked him why every time I try to get emails, I get a porn website."

"Okay…" Elena said uncertainly.  
"Tell him to come back to work now. If he ignores me, he's fired."

"Okay then, sir." Elena hung up, amused. "Reno what did you do to Tseng's computer?"

"I did nothing to Tseng's computer." Reno said defensively.

"Okay, what did you do to his laptop?"

"You'll see." Reno grinned. "did I hear him say I had to go back to work?"

"Yeah."

"Ah, what a shame…" Reno said, turning on the spot. "Our plans will have to be cancelled."

"You're still doing it." Elena said, following him. "You can just do it tomorrow."

"Not if I can help it." Reno said, still grinning.

* * *

"Sort it out. Now." Tseng said, in a tone somewhere in between amusement and annoyance. Then he left his office, without even acknowledging Elena.

"What did you do?" Elena asked curiously, following Reno as he went and sat down at Tseng's desk. Reno smirked and pulled a screwdriver out of Tseng's drawer. Elena watched the redhead as he forced the screwdriver under the 'A' key and pulled it off, then the 'S' key.

"They… were the wrong way around…" Elena said. Reno once again ignored her and swapped the two keys around, tapping them back into position.

"All done." Reno said, "I probably should delete the history on here before good ol' Rufus checks up on it."

"Wait… why did you swap the keys?" Elena asked. Then she remembered…

"'_Laney? What email does Tseng use?"_

Msn hotmail… with the 'A' and 'S' keys swapped…

"Ha, porn website…" Elena said suddenly. Reno stared at her like she'd just said something extremely out of the ordinary. Wait a sec…

"Didn't know you was into that kinda thing 'Laney…" Reno muttered, fiddling with the back of the laptop.

"Ha ha, very funny." Elena said crossing her arms. "So are you deleting the websites that Tseng accidentally went on then?"

"I thought I'd leave a few actually… after all, he's only human." Reno said, grinning and turning off the laptop.


	27. Gummie Bears

**A/N: **Sorry the beginning of this is so rushed. I couldn't think of anything to write. So anyway, I think the next chapter will be the last one, but it will probably be pretty long. Unless I decide to put a little more after the end that is.

(I put something in here for you, Rude, you know who you are, and why it's funny.)

Enjoy

**

* * *

Chapter 27**

After Reno and Elena returned to the latter's apartment, the evening seemed to rush by, and before Elena knew it, she was waking up again, and getting ready to go to work.

Reno, on the other hand, wasn't.

He wasn't in bed, but he wasn't exactly awake. He was dozing on Elena's despite having only got up and had breakfast no less than half an hour ago. The blonde was tempted to leave him there, getting slightly annoyed with his inconvenient sleep pattern, but she kept trying.

"Reno?" She said, deciding to try a different approach. "Cloud's just knocked on the door. He said he wants to see you."

"What!?" Reno yelled, jerking awake, his eyes almost hilariously shocked. "Shit… where the hell is he?"

"Come on." Elena said smiling. "Time for work."

"Aw, what the hell 'Lena?" Reno said, rubbing his eyes. "I was all set for murder."

"Yeah me too. Such a shame isn't it?" Elena said, practically dragging Reno to his feet. "You probably should have stayed asleep."

"Shut up." Reno said moodily. Elena had the feeling he didn't even get the joke she had just made, but he was just being cranky.

"Come on." Elena said again. Reno rubbed his eyes again and grabbed his jacket.

* * *

It didn't take Elena long to finish off the paperwork she had left, but she knew that there wasn't anything else to actually do. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was forgetting something though, and as she leant back in her chair, draining her coffee, she figured out what it was.

She hadn't seen Reno since they arrived this morning, and that was definitely unusual. What as even more unusual was that not only had she not seen Reno, but she had not heard him either. Just as she was thinking about it, she heard Reno's very distinctive voice yell a few colorful words down the corridor. Sighing, she prepared herself for the worst.

A few seconds later, Reno burst into Elena's office, clutching a bag of something in his hands. More surprising though, was that Rude followed Reno in, looking half annoyed, half disgusted.

"Hey 'Laney." Reno said in a voice contrasting greatly with the one she had just heard yelling.

"Gummie Bears?" Elena said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep." Reno said happily, putting the large bag on her desk. To Elena's amusement it was half empty.

"Have you given up, Reno?" She asked him smugly.

"Nope. I didn't eat them."

Elena was just about to argue when shockingly, Rude cut in. "Actually, he's telling the truth."

"What?" Elena said, her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Right. Rudie here was with me all day, I been throwin' them at people, ain't I Rudie?"

Rude nodded his head, slightly regrettably. Elena stared at Reno, wondering why he was suddenly acting like he was drunk… or high.

"I think you need to lay off the coffee Reno." The blonde said finally. Reno shot her a lopsided grin, without saying a word.

"Tseng told me to bring him to your office." Rude said. "He seems to think he's safer here." Rude looked at his partner with an expression that was almost impossible to decipher. It seemed to be somewhere near pity.

"Don't worry, Rude." Elena told him reassuringly. "At 10 o'clock tomorrow, he'll be back to his usual… um, hyper self."

"That's what I'm worried about." Rude said, leaving the room.

"Hey. Look 'Laney." Reno said loudly as soon as Rude had left the room. He was holding two gummie bears together. "Check it out. The gummie bears are gettin' it on."

"Shut up, Reno." Elena said, although she couldn't help but smile slightly.

* * *

"Reno?" came an angry voice from the door way. "Of course, there's no need to even search for the cause of the gummie bears all over the corridor. Go clean them up."

"Yes, sir." Reno said happily, jumping to his feet. "God, this is gonna take all day."

"What the-?" Elena said to herself as Reno practically ran out of the room to do his job. "Why is he so happy about getting a cleaning job?"


	28. Result

**A/N: **Last chapter... this had been one hell of a story. More than 200 reviews, still can't believe it. I happen to know a lot more of you read it, so please, if you haven't been reviewing, just review the last chapter D

Thank you so much for all your support guys, I'm hoping to do another humor story since this one was so popular, but what I lack is a main plot idea. So if you have any suggestions, please don't hesitate to PM me.

Thanks especailly to **Le Pecore Nere**, and **carrietheninja **whose enthusiastic reviews have kept me writing this till the end

Please enjoy

**

* * *

****Chapter 28 - Result**

It took a surprisingly long time for Reno to finish cleaning up the Gummie bears, which made Elena vaguely wonder how many bags of them he'd originally had that morning. What was more, where in the world was he getting them from?

Just as she was thinking about it, Reno walking into her office, after a small scene involving him cursing at the door before he actually opened it.

"The door giving you trouble again, Reno?" Elena said, smiling at the redhead.

"Sure, you seen my gummie bears?" He asked her distantly.

"Have you cleaned them up outside?" Elena asked, getting the bag out of her desk drawer.

"No…"

"Why? We have to go home soon…"

"Aw, really? That's such a shame." Reno grinned.

"I know that smile, quit being cocky and what are you thinking? Wait a minute…" Elena narrowed her eyes. "You're trying to get out of that exercise, aren't you?"

"What makes you say that? Can I have my gummie bears?"

Elena sighed and threw the bag at him, just as her office door opened again. Surprisingly, Rude walked in.

"Hey Rude!" Reno said ecstatically. "I haven't seen you in years."

"I saw you in the corridor, Reno." The stoic man said. "Here." He put some papers in his hands. "Are you allowed to go in your office yet?"

"What? I dunno, I ain't asked. Why?" Reno said, dumping the papers on Elena's desk.

"You mean you've just been working in Elena's office all this time?" Rude asked him.

"Yep, why not?" Reno grinned.

"Well… whatever." Rude said, shaking his head. "I need to go through some of this paperwork with you, Reno."

"Okay then." Reno sat down on Elena's desk, and grabbed the bag of gummie bears again.

Both Rude and Elena knew that Reno wasn't listening to Rude and his explanation of his papers, but the bald man carried on anyway. Elena watched amused at what Rude was chosing to ignore. Reno took a piece of candy out of his bag, and licked it.

"I'm ignoring you." Rude said, interrupting his own explanation. Reno grinned cockily and threw the licked gummie bear at Rude.

"Why did you do that?" Rude asked him patiently.

"I thought it would stick to your head." Reno said, looking slightly disappointed. "Let's try again."

Rude sighed and grabbed the bag off Reno before he could get another one out. "You get that?"

"Get what?" Reno asked innocently. Elena knew that anyone normal would have gotten angry at Reno then. But a combination of the fact that Reno and Rude had been partners and best friends for a long time, and the pitiful look on Reno's face, made Rude act differently.

"Look." Rude sighed, pulling out one paper in particular. "Remember when you set fire to that house?"

"Haha, yeah." Reno giggled. "That was funny… I mean, that was an accident."

"Yeah well, basically, you have to fill in this side." He pointed to one side of the paper and then turned it over. "And Tseng has to fill in this side."  
"Why?" Reno said, still smirking at the memory of his pyromaniac moment.

"Because he does." Rude said bluntly. "Same for this one." He pointed to another paper.

"Ok, got it." Reno said, saluting Rude mockingly.

"Really?"

"Yep."

Rude sighed and made to go out of the room. Before exiting however, he looked over at Elena. "Make sure he does it right."

* * *

"Why do you have to be so irritating?" Elena asked, picking a gummie bear out of her hair. She had long since abandoned anger, and was trying her best to ignore the red head and his gummie bear throwing.

"'Cause I'm cool." Reno said, grinning inanely. "And this is borin'."

"Well, you have to do it, so-" Elena was interrupted by her office door opening again. Rude entered, looking grimmer than last time.

"You two have to come with me." He said, still standing by the door and holding it open.

"Why?" Reno looked shocked.

"Rufus wants to see all of us." Rude told them. "He's not happy. Especially not with you Reno."

"What? What have I done?"

"I don't know. But make sure you're especially nice to Rufus from now on, I heard he's thinking about cutting your pay." Rude seemed to be bracing himself for colorful outburst from Reno, which followed as expected.

"What the hell have I done?" He yelled. "Stupid, tight bastard. He needs to pull that stick outta his ass-"

"Reno?" Rude interrupted him. The redhead looked up, his eyes still full of anger. "Shut up, and come with me."

Reno and Elena stood up and followed Rude out of the office. Elena hated it when things like this happened, a trip to Rufus' office anytime was nerve-wracking, but she was bound to get some sort of lecture. She felt more sorry for Reno though. Although he probably deserved a lecture for being such an immature idiot, she couldn't help but pity him.

"Come in." Rufus's grim voice came from inside his office. Rude opened the door, and the three of them entered.

"Sit down." The blonde man said politely. They did so, and then the familiar icy look came back into Rufus' eyes. "I've had a _lot _of complaints recently, most of them leading back to you." He seemed to be directing his gaze at Reno, so Elena tried to relax. "It's about the mess of the building, strangely enough. This small problem is starting to annoy people. There's no need to even ask who's responsible for food being thrown everywhere."

"Rufus." Reno interrupted, looking blank, yet slightly scared. "I want your body."

"Excuse me?" Rufus interrupted, the serious look was gone out of his eyes, and his eyebrows raised.

"Where's my-?" Reno looked to the door.

"Reno." Rude interrupted. He thumped the smaller Turk lightly on the arm. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, I'm bein'-"

"Just clean up the mess Reno. Now go. All of you." Rufus said, sighing and looking away from the three of them. "Reno, you stay behind tonight until you've finished cleaning."

The three Turks left Rufus' office, Reno with a cocky grin on his face.

"Nice one, Reno." Rude said quietly before leaving to go to his office.

* * *

Elena flicked from one channel to another. She was bored. Reno was still at work cleaning up, and she had only been at home half an hour, and had already run out of things to do. She wondered vaguely how she had managed when she was living on her own before the bet, and her heart sank slightly as she realized that Reno would probably be going home again tomorrow.

Elena had to admit though, Reno was a remarkably intelligent person, even if he didn't show it most of the time. He had managed to get out of exercising with Elena, and a lecture from Rufus. He was so smart around other people, and obviously knew exactly how to get them under his thumb. There was time that she thought Reno was doing it accidentally, but now she realized he knew he was smart, and used it to his advantage, always managing to get his own way.

* * *

For some reason, Elena was slightly nervous the next day. She knew that at 10 o'clock, Reno would be home-free, and that was only an hour away. Chances were within the next few hours, he would be arranging a date.

But, strangely enough, she was looking forward to it as well.

Reno wasn't there when she woke up, and although she was seriously sceptical about him being at work so early, she didn't really give it much thought.

"Elena?" The blonde heard her name being called before she managed to get to her office that morning

"Yes, sir?" Elena smiled at Tseng. He placed some papers in her hands.

"Can you take these papers over to Hojo's lab? I would ask Reno but he seems slightly terrified of Hojo." Tseng rolled his eyes at the though of Reno's eccentric behaviour.

"Yes, sir. How long has Reno been here?"

"Oh, about an hour. I was slightly worried when he turned up so early actually… he must be excited about something."

"Oh…" Elena trailed off and began to walk in the direction of Hojo's lab to take his papers to him.

So that would be why. Reno was probably sitting in Elena's office now, counting the minutes till he could eat what he considered food.

By the time Elena got back from Hojo's lab, Reno had only 10 minutes till he was free. As she put her hand on the door handle of her office, she braced herself for the worst. An excited Reno had a shockingly similar amount of destructive power as a small child after a lot of sugar.

Elena had the shock of her life when she opened the door. The redhead was sitting peacefully, his cell phone in his hand.

"Hey 'Laney." He said, smiling contently. "Where ya been?"

"Hey… taking papers to Hojo… what are you doing?"

"Nothin'" Reno said, putting the cell phone away. "Just waitin'… I'm so hungry you wouldn't believe it."

Elena looked at the redhead, feeling slightly guilty. He had a strange glint in his eye, similar to one of a stray dog. She only just noticed now she was paying attention to it, his face looked even gaunter than usual, and now she thought about it, she couldn't remember him eating very much at all.

Then again, he didn't have to go with the bet.

The redhead sighed and Elena watched him open her desk drawer and pull out yet another bag of gummie bears. He laid them on the desk and then rested his chin on his hands, without saying a word.

"Where do you keep getting those from?" Elena asked in a desperate attempt to get Reno to talk. It was too strange him being so calm and silent.

"I have my sources." Reno said, grinning sheepishly. He looked at his watch, just as Elena looked at hers.

"5…" He said, smiling cockily. Elena stared at him, confused.

"4…" Elena finally caught on.

"3…" Reno tore open the new bag of gummie bears.

"2…"

"1…"

Elena couldn't help but smile.

"Time to eat all those burned calories." Reno said, cramming as many gummie bears as he possibly could into his mouth.

"Tasty?" Elena asked him casually.

Reno nodded his head, unable to say anything. After about 2 minutes, Reno finally swallowed, and then laughed cockily.

"So then…" He said smugly, putting another gummie bear in his mouth. "How 'bout that date?"

It seemed to happen so quickly, before she knew what she doing, Elena found herself leaning over her own desk to Reno, and kissed him. She wasn't even sure why, but Reno seemed to be enjoying it, and he didn't pull away. Eventually, Elena pulled back, but only because the desk was starting to become remarkably uncomfortable.

Reno grinned as Elena grimaced and put her fingers in her mouth.

"That's disgusting. Keep it to yourself." Elena said, pulling a gummie bear out of her mouth and forcing it back into Reno's. Reno grinned again and swallowed the candy.

"You know you love it." Reno said, leaning forwards to Elena again. The blonde smiled to herself before Reno got to her. Who would have thought that she would have lost the bet, and still gotten what she wanted?

Of course, she knew one person who obviously knew it would happen. The redhead in front of her had been looking remarkably smug since she entered her office…

* * *

**A/N: **That's it... I'm sad now, I was enjoying writing this. Well, please review guys, and I'm sorry, I didn't get to use a lot of requests... thanks a lot D 


	29. Dry Ice

**Chapter 29 – Dry Ice**

Elena hung up the phone for the fifth time and sighed.

"Still nothing?" Tseng asked.

The blonde shook her head. She had been trying to get hold of Reno, because for some reason, no one had actually seen him since the day he won the bet. Tseng had been about to phone him, but Elena figured that he definitely wouldn't talk to Tseng. Actually she was started to get a little irritated. Although she didn't want to admit it, she had been looking forward to her date, and was slightly annoyed that it wasn't happening. The redhead had rarely left her thought lately; could it be that he had finally wormed his way into her?

Decided to try one more time, she pressed the re-dial button on her cell and put it to her ear.

"Yeah?" came an unexpected, slightly strange sounding reply.

"Reno?" Elena said loudly down the phone. "Where the hell are you?"

"Your mom."

"Very funny…" Elena said, rolling her eyes. "You have to come into work. You haven't shown up for four days."

"Ahh… the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company…" Reno said. Elena couldn't see him, but she just knew he was smirking. "Without them, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. See ya 'Laney."

"Reno-" the dial tone sounded. "Damn it." She said hanging up.

"What?" Tseng asked.

"I don't think he's gonna come in…"

"Right…" Tseng threw Elena her jacket. "If he's not going to be a mature adult, we'll have to go see him…"

* * *

**Authors Note: **D This is actually the start of the new sequel to The Reno Diet, called Dry Ice. I've put info about it on my profile. Just thought I'd put this little taster so anyone that really enjoyed the Reno Diet doesn't miss out. 

I have a challenge; the Reno Diet was my most successful story, having 237 reviews... I need to beat that in this next story. Keep a look out for it (I'll be starting properly after I've finished writing Recruitment.) It's a whole new story in the humor section.

Thanks a lot guys for your encouraging reviews


	30. Note

**_Hey guys!_**

**_It suddenly clicked that for all my other fics with sequel's, I put a message up at the end letting you know when the sequel was up, so here goes... the sequel's up! XD_**

**_I'm on chapter 4 of Dry Ice now, so if ya wanna check it out and leave a review it'd be muchly appreciated._**

**_Thanks alot guys, and hope ya all havin' a great summer!_**

**_reno-xxxXXXxxx_**


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